Unexpected

I can't believe how much I got done in one day. It made me feel like all my worries were for naught. Monday I finished my FAFSA, met with the Financial Aid person, had extra time to get the drug test done, and then to go home eat, and go to CPR. Originally they told me I missed the boat for CPR, but then someone cancelled and she called me just in time for me to get there.

I passed. I didn't like my teacher (neither did my partner), and wished I was in the lady instructor's group because that's who I had last time two years ago. This guy acted like if you asked a question because you were confused with the video something was wrong with you. Seriously, don't be a teacher if you are going to make someone feel dumb for asking questions and then say "feel free to ask me anything, that's why I'm here." For example: Me: "So are we supposed to give one minute of CPR first to both adults and children and then get help if no one is there, or should we get help first?" Him: "Well what did the video say?" Me: "It wasn't particularily clear what one should do if someone wasn't there (for adults) for you to ask them to call 911, whereas the child's was, which is why I ask." Him: "Well what was the chain of survival for the adult?" Me: "Early Access." Him: "What about the child then?" Me: "Early CPR" Him: "Well there's your answer then." He basically picked on anyone who made one mistake and made a big deal about it. I'm sorry I've only taken CPR twice (this being the 2nd time), if I or the other students forget something, don't treat us like dummies, help us fix the situation instead of belittling us. He was very humilating for all of the girls in our group. He left the guys alone because there was a fire-fighter and a army person. How Rude! We came here to learn, not to be treated like crap, with a smile. Glad that's done. Next time I take it, I'm making sure I'm in the group with the woman instructor.

Sorry. I guess being a teacher it irks me when other teachers do their job poorly. I understand having a bad day, because certainly I have those too. At least I try to be patient, instead of rolling my eyes at another student while the one having trouble is confused. There was another girl who was obviously "English as a Second Language." She had never taken CPR before and needed extra help. He treated her very poorly (using raised voice sometimes, rolling eyes toward me etc.), she's translating everything you say, at least give her time to figure it out and walk her through it, everyone learns differently. I should have written this on the comment form, but instead I just gave lower scores for the instruction because I didn't want to be 'picked out from the crowd'.

Anyway, I'm going to be being my packing adventures today. Anyone else think the snow is crazy? First day of Spring and it snows. All those poor daffodil flowers will die now, bummer. Not sure why, but once the snow started my sinuses went hay wire. I even lost my voice for a few hours last night. Strange. I haven't reacted to weather changes like that in a LONG time.

I know I don't sound poetic or exciting or even really informative lately, but that's just how it goes. By the way, the movie called "Winter Solstice" is not worth your time. I rarely fall asleep during a movie, but this one almost had no plot.

Enough already!

This last week was CRAZY! I found myself venting to Eric today, simply because I was sick of being a slave to my own life. I was feeling trapped and stuck and that just makes me want to scream sometimes. Everyday this week I had to be at school early and at least two days I stayed late. I had two extra rehearsals during the week for this choir performance today and tommorow, one of which was right after one of my big student concerts (of which we got a standing ovation). Then I had to go to another one today because he didn't feel we were prepared. Honestly I kept making mistakes because I'm BORED of singing the same thing over and over because 12 of us can't figure out how to sing in unison. Anytime I messed up was because I zoned out and wanted to go home.

That's all I could think about this morning. It's my Spring Break darn it, and I really didn't want to be spending two of my days singing for this Gregorian Chant concert. It's cool, it was fun, might actually be fun tonight and tommorow, but now it's just old for me. I'll be very happy when we are done. You think I'd be excited to have a big solo part in this thing, but quite honestly I'd rather be getting ready to move or playing around with friends. Have you ever just been forced to be 'on' all the time, and you get to a point where you can't take it anymore and need a break? That's me right now. UGH!

Now that I'm done whining and complaining here's the news of my exciting journey through life. Monday I'm meeing with Financial Aid and taking CPR at Meramac. The rest of the week will be spent getting my house ready to go on the market. I'll be moving some things over to the parental's house and making it look like no one really lives here. I'm not really sure what to do with the roomie other than remind her the house will be on display, which I already mentioned two weeks ago.

As for my current job, I'm being rehired at .79 for sure (we lost some sections) and that means I'll end up traveling again probably, if the option is there. I'm not sure what I'm doing with this yet, other than since I'll be moving back home, as long as this ensures I can leave early (since I won't be teaching) and still get full benefits, I can handle the decrese in pay. On the other hand since I'm taking more college grad credits, maybe I'll have enough to bump up a salary schedule by next year. Depends on what I have time to do. For nursing school, I have to jump through all these hoops before they'll let me register. They are requiring a lot more than Maryville did, ie a drug test, fun fun.

Anyway, that's it for now. This post was mostly random junk, but read if you will my random, unexciting ramblings for the day.

3 more days!

3 More days until I'm done with Phase 1 of the SB diet. I can't wait to have some carbs back in my life baby. All these leafy greens are great, but my digestive system is mad at me this time (maybe because I was sick last Friday who knows). I'm having dreams of chocolate covered strawberries (sugar-free chocolate of course) and whole grain pita with my hummus and tomatoes again..... yum!

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On another note, I got home today and the neigbhor is selling their house too. I hope that doesn't look bad for me, however, my house is better kempt and has a bit more to offer :) (ie finished basement, wood burning stove, 3 bedrooms, a covered deck, nice landscaping, hard wood floors underneath the carpet, lots of exterior updates, I could go on etc.)

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Four more school days until our concert. 7 days until 'the big solo' as "Chastity." One more week until Spring Break!!!! Two more weeks until my house is on the market!

Wicked and Son of a Witch

The book discussion I used to frequent, much more oft than I do now, was reading Wicked last month. I finally finished it about two weeks ago and hungered for more. I went to the library and checked out the "7 Day Loan" edition of Son of a Witch from the Best-Seller Shelves. I had to renew (or exchange rather), but I finally finished reading Son of a Witch (the sequel) yesterday. I'm not sure why I was so compelled by these books, but I absolutely loved them. The ending was beautiful.

I miss reading so much that when I return the book to the library (due today), I'll have to find another one. I almost forgot how I really enjoyed reading, espeically for fun. My problem usually stems from the question of what to read. Having been told what to read for most of my life (especially from all those high-school summer reading requirements about women's struggles etc.), it's hard to know what are valuable books and are also very interesting to me in the fiction sense. I wish I could find a list of quality fictions books of all types (not just the classics) from which to choose for my reading pleasure. I am sometimes overwhelmed at the infinite possibilities, even at my teeny-tiny library off "The Rock Rd".

Coming soon.....

It's unofficially official!!! My house will be going on the market hopefully on March 25th! Melia seems to think that it will sell fast. Keep your prayers going! I'm going to need it!

Beach Update

So far I've lost 7 lbs and counting. I guess it really helped that I've been sick for the last two days and haven't really eaten anything for obvious reasons! Trust me, the sickness wasn't worth the extra 2 lbs. Well, I'm off to the store to get some eggs and turkey bacon. I'm finally hungry, and I really hope my sickness is done with me, so I can start eating things other than sugar free jello and not lose it 10 minutes later. YIKES!

Back to School!

Today I just found out I was accepted into the nursing program of my choice. YEAH! I will be working full time and going back to school, but it will be worth it. I've been wanting to complete the RN I started a few years back, and this is my second try at doing it. In other words, I was originally going to Maryville but I simply couldn't afford their private school price, so I had to drop out. I will be going to school for less time and earning an ASN, but afterwards I understand that some hospitals help cover your tuition if you want to earn a higher degree of which I will probably do so later.

In the meantime wish me luck! I have to go through a bunch of hoops to get everything going, and I'm also planning on selling the house! Mucho prayer is needed if you are of the praying sort.

Back to the Beach

Well I finally finished reading my South Beach Book. This time around I thought I would actually try following/eating the recipies in the book rather than making up my own based on the food allowed. So far some of the recipies have been really good. I think I'm eating better food when I make an effort to follow a specific regimen, rather than eating whatever looks good at the time (or is convienant). It's taken a lot of grocery shopping planning and food preparation on my part, but the good news is, I enjoy the food I'm eating a lot better than when I was just making things up as I go along. Yes I'm missing my Sweetarts snacks at school, but I'll survive. For instance today I was offered a banana laffy taffy, a brownie, a twinkie and a juice box (because of special reading week and a student leaving party). I probably would have saved or eaten at least half of that today had I not been on the diet.

On the other hand I'm noticed a bit of dizziness when I start to get hungry again, so I'm thinking I need to up my eating of the 2 recommended the quiche cups to maybe 3.

Here's one recipie I thought very strange at first (by looking at the ingredients). Who knew ricotta cheese could be a dessert?:

1/2 cup part skim ricotta cheese
1/2 tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
1 pkg sugar substitute (splenda)
Dash expresso powder (I couldn't find this at the store so I used cinnamon)
5 mini chocolate chips (I guess they let us cheat with this one)

Mix it up and eat. YUM!

Since I had Mahi Mahi around, I substuted this recipie for the salmon and it was YUM too!

1 pc of Mahi Mahi
2 tsp e.v. olive oil
2 tsp fresh lemon juice
1/4 tsp salt
Pinch Pepper
2 Cloves Garlic Minced
2 tsp Rosemary Leaves

Mix up the ingredients and brush onto fish. Broil at 350 until done.

"What to do?" and other things

What to do?

As I'm approching March I'm trying to get my life's decisions in order. First I need to find out what is going on with my application to Nursing School. Second, I need to put the house on the market. Third, I need to decide if I want to attempt living with the parental units or try to find a cheap place on my own. On the fourth, topic I can do nothing but wait and see (I'll tell you more later.)

So tommorow I HOPE to call the college and figure out the status of my application (I know they have everything, I just need to know when I'll find out the big question.) Then I need to get in touch with my Realtor and get my house market ready in the next couple weeks. The third factor depends on several things: Am I going back to school? What will happen with the forth topic? Am I willing to give up some freedoms to save a lot of money so I can get back on track a lot faster?

My leanings (ambitions) include: Yes, I'll be going back to school; Yes, I will sell the house. Yes, I will attempt to live with the parents for at least for a semester; Yes, my current situation in the fourth topic will change in some direction.

Random Facts I learned today:

You know that 5 second rule when you drop food? You should scratch it, especially if the item is wet/sticky. Studies show you can pick up MAJOR bacteria.

The sidewalk is cleaner (bacteria-wise) than your kitchen floor at home.

The average family brings about 3 lbs of dirt in their home each year.

A dog's mouth is NOT cleaner than a humans', however, both a human and dog mouth have a slight antiseptic property (slight being key.)

Ordo Virtutum

PLEASE JOIN US FOR THIS EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE

Hildegard von Bingen’s Ordo Virtutum

Saturday, March 18 at 8:00 pm and Sunday March 19 at 2:00 pm

St. Louis Abbey Church on the St. Louis Priory Campus

Presented by the Saint Louis Women’s Chorale

Under the direction of Scott Schoonover

Tickets are available at the door. Adults – $15, Students and Seniors – $13.

The Saint Louis Women’s Chorale proudly presents the rarely performed medieval musical drama Ordo Virtutum, or “Play of the Virtues.” Written by Hildegard von Bingen around 1150, Ordo Virtutum transcends the plainchant style common at that time with unusual intervals, cascades of notes in extended melismatic passages, repeated melodic cells and extraordinary vocal range in monophonic lines for female voices. The performance will take place in the St. Louis Abbey Church at the St. Louis Priory. This semi-staged production features soprano Ann Hoyt. Also enjoy the sounds of medieval instruments.

Directions - From Highway 64/40 east or west, exit north onto Mason Road. Drive a short distance north on Mason Road. The campus is on your right after you pass Priory Lane. If you reach Conway Road, you have gone too far.

The “Play of the Virtues” - The story of the Ordo Virtutum is simple. A Soul, still imprisoned in the human body she must wear on her journey through life, presents herself to the Virtues to be accepted into heaven. But the Virtues offer no easy transformation. All they can promise is their help in fighting the temptations of the world through which the Soul must still pass. Disappointed, the Soul feels she can no longer resist the world’s blandishments, and leaves in the company of the ever-present Devil. The Virtues mourn her defection but find strength in their ability to work together to the glory of God. When the Soul returns, besmirched but penitent, they accept her back, and together they help her conquer the Devil.

The music for the Ordo Virtutum is closely connected with the Latin text. Hildegard uses different tones, modes and melodic treatments to represent various virtues, vices and emotions. There is a vibrant connection between the emotional imagery and the expressive melodies in this moving work that goes far beyond its origins as a morality play to become a spiritual celebration of goodness and life – all within the confines of the plainchant style.

The Composer - Hildegard von Bingen was an extraordinary person. A 12^th century visionary, poet, composer, prophetess, theologian, natural scientist, prolific writer and administrator, Hildegard was consulted by bishops, emperors, and even popes, on both secular and sacred matters. Born in 1098, Hildegard entered the convent at the age of eight. She eventually became abbess and started her own monastery in the Rhineland near Bingen. Ordo Virtutum was composed there, probably for the dedication of the new convent. In addition to her extensive body of prose, Hildegard wrote 77 religious poems, all with music. She lived to the age of eighty-one, working productively until the end.

The St. Louis Women’s Chorale was founded in 1995 to create a community of women dedicated to performing music by, for, and about women. Our mission is the performance of quality repertoire for women’s voices. As American women in the 21^st century, we have a voice unlike any in history. Through participation in the St. Louis Women’s Chorale, women have the opportunity to find and experience the power of their own voices and to let those voices be heard in St. Louis, across Missouri, throughout the United States and around the world.

***I am one of the soloists (Chastity) in this performance and am also one of 12 of the small ensemble of singers (the virtues) from the bigger choir. Come and see us! Here's the translation if you want the full story.***

Four Things

Ok, since everyone in the universe is doing this, I don't want to be the only one left out.

Four Random Jobs I've Had:

1. McDonald's Crew Trainer
2. Certified Nurse's Aide
3. Candy Vendor (only lasted one day, it was awful)
4. Librarian Assistant

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over:

1. Ever After
2. While You Were Sleeping
3. Down With Love
4. Love Actually

Four Places I've Lived:

1. Chicago, IL (don't remember it)
2. Every county in St. Louis but the City (So Co, West Co, No. Co)
3. Kirksville, MO (college)
4. Highridge, MO (as a kid)

Four TV Shoes I Love:

1. Family Guy
2. Sex and the City
3. Days of Our Lives
4. Charmed

Four Places I've Vacationed:

1. San Antonio, TX
2. Europe (Munich, Salzburg, Budapest)
3. Nashville, TN
4. Bahamas (Forgot which island)

Four of My Favorite Dishes:

1. Salad as mentioned earlier
2. Hummus with Pita as mentioned earlier
3. Duck Wraps as made by Eric
4. Curry Dish that I make

Four Places I'd Rather Be:

1. Anywhere Warm
2. Anywhere in Europe
3. Getting the super deluxe Spa Treatment on a Remote Tropical Island
4. An Irish Pub in Ireland

I'm too lazy to link to any blogs I tag, how about everyone on the links list.


On another note:

My latest (can't live without trying at least once) discovery at Trader Joe's:

Imported Tiramisu Gelato

Absof-inglutely delicious!!!!!!!!

Don't want to pay to eat out, but want the taste? Other things to try there that I recommend:

Portobello Mushroom Ravioli (with Italian Sausage Sauce), Shepherd's Pie, Frugal Ordinary Joe Beer, Chimchanga, Eggplant Cutlets, Mushroom Soup (frozen), Thai Pad (frozen bowl), Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans, Hot Fresh Salsa, Living Lettuce (and Chicken that goes with it) Wrap, Papaya Mango Juice....

Add your recommendations to my comment list so I can try some things I haven't discovered yet.

Really, Why is it that when it rains it pours?

Can anyone tell me why "when it rains it pours?" I really would like to know the answer to this question. I just don't feel like anything I'm doing is right. The kids are going crazy. My boyfriend and I are in the 'whoops, we do actually have differences phase,' and my bills are just going crazy (ie my house is worth more so now I get to pay more taxes.) Will I ever get back into school, will I end up relocating, will Eric and I find a happy medium, will I ever get even remotely settled financially without any (even the slightest bit of) help from parents etc?

It's not that I have to have major security, but a little would be nice. Apparently I'm due for a 'life change' once again. I'm probably moving, maybe going back to school, maybe I'll be stuck back at my parents; I have NO idea where I'm going. I guess I just have keep on doing my best (whatever that is) and rely on God to take me where I'm supposed to go. Madness, I tell you, just madness.

Dancing with Fred

Dancing with Fred Bird

The Cardinals came to my school to promote healthy habits. Fred Bird went around and chose people to dance etc. I really couldn't see what he was doing, so I tried to copy his last move and just be goofy. Incidently the song was "Can't Touch This," by MC Hammer. After my face turned about 10 shades of red, I figured I would be silly and go with the flow so the kids could have a laugh.

Hummus and Pita Yummies

Yummy Lunch Idea:

Chipotle Pepper Hummus (from TJoe's)
Apocryphal Pita (100% Whole Wheat from TJoe's)
Tomato Slices

Warm-up Pita by covering with damp paper towel in microwave for about 10-15 sec. Spread on Hummus to liking. Add tomato slices (with a little salt on top). Enjoy.

My new favorite salad!

I invented a new salad in my recipe repertoire (I don't really use recipies for most items, I normally just make things up). Here it is. It is soooo good, I hope you like it. Make sure you get FRESH ingredients (I prefer mostly organic from Trader Joe's.)

Fresh Baby Spinach
Freshly Crumbled Goat Cheese (Can buy at Trader Joes in a container already crumbled)
Cranraisins from Ocean Spray
Drescoll's Organic Rasberries
(pecans optional (I usually don't put these in))
1-2 cap fulls of blackberry balsalmic vingarette dressing (I'm using "La Maison" brand.)

Tip:
Don't use too much dressing or you'll soak it, think like 1-2 tbls
I like lots of cheese on mine :)

Mix ingredients to taste and enjoy the savory yumminess of a sweet salad (but not too sweet) YUM YUM!!!!

Do you sometimes wish you could quit?

I have had an extreamly busy 3 weeks in almost all aspects of my life, and it's really starting to 'get to me.' I'm not physically tired, but I'm just emotionally drained. I need a break, and we're not even really close to Spring Break. Just pray that I can make it throug this crazy crazy time.

I scored as "Dance" or Should it Be Theater?

I read someone else's blog today and they had this quiz posted, so I thought I'd try it too. Maybe it's because I enjoy the arts, but I'm not so sure this thing is on the mark. I don't think I could ever major in dance, but I make up 'fun, silly' dances for kids all the time as part of my job.

You scored as Dance. You should be a Dance major! Like a lithe ballerina, you dance because you believe there is beauty in expressing the physical form. Theater 83% Dance 83% Philosophy 75% Psychology 75% Biology 75% Chemistry 67% Art 67% Sociology 67% English 67% Mathematics 58% Journalism 58% Anthropology 58% Engineering 58% Linguistics 58% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!) created with QuizFarm.com

Don't know what to feel or think

These last couple weeks have felt like one whirlwind after the other. True to form, whatever sickness was brewing whilst I gave all energies during the last weeks of school before break, they all bloomed at once. One of the problems was lack of a complete diagnosis, and so now I'm dealing with hopefully finally recovering from what has been a four-month nightmare of sorts. Thanks to Lori and my constant calls to my Mom, the NP, she referred me to a direction conducive of my healing.

Not only has sleep been fleeting, tutoring started this week (means I get up an hour earlier, and work and extra hour twice a week). I enjoy tutoring the students because I can teach a different subject (reading/writing), and see the kids in a whole new light. As one was diligently reading their assigned paragraph, I found myself almost hurling on my desk this morning. I didn't know what to do but to get up and go over to the trash can, and hopefully contain whatever it was. Luckily, I was fine, so long as I stayed standing for 5 minutes. Who knew I'd actually experience a side-effect from my medicine? I've never had one from this particular medication before, but apparently the lack of sleep, new meds, etc. was too much. I knew that if I could make it to lunch I'd be fine, and sure enough I was much better. The art teacher told me that she refuses to be on amoxicillin for the reason I just described. I've never had a bad reaction till now. I can't help but wonder if it's just the lack of sleep also contributing as I didn't notice this on any other day but the tutoring days.

I really wish I was a morning person. I used to pride myself in my ability to stay up way late no matter how tired, and now I wish I could just get up early and enjoy it. I feel so much more productive, and after sleeping almost an entire day last Saturday (I didn't wake up till 500p). On top of this I just have this jittery but really tired feeling lately. I'm hoping it will 'all go away.' Maybe it's just the full moon, who the heck knows.

I know I'm just blabbing, but I'm sick of looking at the resolutions. Everything is going along, except of course I've exercised but not 3x per week. The amount beats my 1.5 hour minimum, but I don't really think it truly helps if I do it all in one day :) So far I've only made it 2 times per week at 1.5 hours. I guess it's better than nothing.

Random other things:

Helping someone rewrite their resume when you have no real experience or knowledge of their position is challenging, but fun at the same time.

I absolutely love the new flicker (rechargeable) candles I bought at Home Depot. They look like real candles but have none of dangers of them, you could use it as a night light for instance. They recharge on the decorative base, and can be used anywhere. I LOVE THEM! I need to get more! Too cool!

The default ringback tone on Verizon Wireless is really annoying after a while. I wonder how many people actually like having or hearing the ringback tones? Why would anyone pay $1.99 for a special song (that can only be used for a year) for the people calling them to listen to as they wait for you to answer? For one you can't even tell if they are on the phone or how many rings have passed. I just think it's a ploy for you to stay on the phone, when say normally you'd hang up after only three rings if no one answers (assuming you don't want to leave a msg.)

Ok, no more blubbering, time to sleep.

Making Things Happen: Resolutions

Here's the annual list of New Year's Resolutions and what I'm doing to reach them.

1. Go to Nursing School (Graduate in about a year and a half or less.)

I just applied to a more affordable program than Maryville (of which I was accepted a year ago) just before the deadline Jan. 15. If accepted, I will graduate in approximately 1.5 years (depending on offerings) with an ASN/RN. I will most likely continue to work full-time in my current position.

2. Pay off Car by September (at least one month early)

Already on track, I have been paying over the amount due for more than 4 years, 10 months to go max!

3. Exercise, exercise, exercise!

I plan to get back into the gym on a more consitent basis, consistent being the key word. My goal is a minimum of 3 days per week for 30 minutes.

I also have other goals, but those are my main three minimum goals.


Random knowledge du jour:

Did you know that stamp prices are going up Jan. 8th to 39 c? Send your mail now, or get some 2c stamps while you can :)

What's Your Christmas Carol?

Your Christmas Song Is

Joy to the World Joy to the world, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare Him room, And heaven and nature sing, It's not about what you get under the tree But sharing love with family, friends, and strangers

What Christmas Carol Are You?

My new favorite grocery store

A past roomie and current roomie of mine kept talking about how great Trader Joe's was. I had never been there before but I always thought that some of the food they purchased looked good. I finally went there today, and I must say it has to be one of the best places to shop ever! The food I bought was fresh and tasty. A good portion of it is organic, and or it's just made really well and is fresh. Today I bought this frozen chicken to go with my lettuce wraps. YUMMY! It was like going out to eat, only I was at home and it cost me $5 tops for the lettuce and the chicken package. I also stocked up on their $2.99 award winning wine, and other yummy foods such as fresh goat cheese for salads. YUM. YUM!

If you haven't been there they have three locations: Brentwood, Chesterfield and one on Olive coming soon. Simply Delicious!

When it Rains it Pours

I've heard this saying from several people this week, and so it has stuck in my mind as the week is coming to a close and the 'vacation' begins. I have to wonder why "When it rains, it pours?" Let me pose some examples:

1. While I knew having a roommate would increase the utilities a little bit I never expected the following:

Satellite: $10 increase (supposed to be $5 inc.)
Mobile: $35 increase from going over minutes and using text messages
Gas Bill: $100 increase from last month
Electric Bill: $30 increase from last month
Car Insurance: $70 increase for the new policy (due to last year's accident)

I can only imagine what is coming next! YIKES!

2. Other stupid problems that are just annoying:

a. The website for my ins. company was screwy so I spent about 1.5 hours talking on the phone and trying to get the insurance set up. (ARGH!)

b. The chest of drawers I had purchased in June is having to get yet another replacement, this would be no. 3. The first was broken, so they replaced it. The second the top drawer cracked. Supposedly I'll be getting a new top drawer Friday after 2 MONTHS of waiting for a stupid little part that still hasn't come in.

c. Kitty cat needed declawing.

d. Christmas shopping.

e. Just trying to get around in traffic for normal every day stuff since everyone seems to think we should all get on the highway at the same time (luckily I just cancelled apointments and took back ways which were also 'backed up.'

f. Paying property taxes during the holiday season when you are already broke.

g. Having to make an insurance claim from being hit by someone else in someone else's car a week or two ago.

h. Having sinusitis/bronchitis all at the same time I'm supposed to be taking care of this stuff. (Although I went to the Dr. today so it should be gone sometime soon.)

When talking to my uncle about what would be the best/least coverage that I could afford for car insurance, he said "welcome to the real world." I told him I've been living in the real world for quite sometime and didn't need the reminder. It's not that I'm not aware of 'crap' that happens or don't expect, it's just that we can't afford it. He laughed and said, "tell me about it."

I hope everyone's holiday is going better than mine. I hope I don't sound ungrateful for being alive and that God has blessed me with the ability to eek by to pay for these things. It's just craziness! How can we ever expect to get ahead or do well, when there is ALWAYS something that bites you in the butt and takes all your 'preparedness' efforts down in one swoop?

Blah

Have you ever found yourself so busy that when you actually have free time you have no clue what to do? I guess maybe it's that I do know what I could do, it's just that since I have a choice, I then choose not to do anything. One more day until vacation (even if I'm going no where.)

Is it time for vacation yet?

I have 2 more days left before Holiday/ Christmas vacation whatever you want to call it. All I can say is, am I there yet?

Inspired by a friend

Last night I was thinking what have I really accomplished this last year and what do I want to have accomplished by next year's end.

Accomplishments this year:

1. Succeeded in teaching a new level of students
2. Lower my debt (happened very slowly, but I'm getting there)
3. Updated various parts of the house through painting
4. Bridesmaid in a wedding
5. Two float/camp trips to Black River and Huzzah Valley
6. Joined a choir (have a solo this weekend)
7. Survived lifes trials and tribulations
8. Learned how to shoot a shot gun (shot skeet)

What I still want to do:
1. Improve on my shooting abilities
2. Take a class or two next summer to add to my teaching resources
3. Take/pass the 2nd level technology program at school so I can get a G5 Mac (and cool programs) in my room :)
4. Continue to sing in a choir
5. Continue to lower my debt
6. Really figure out where I fit spiritually (been thinking about checking out a different church near me)

Other things I would like to do sometime:
1. Sky dive
2. Hot air balloon ride
3. Skiing: Water and Snow
4. Actually run the half marathon without my legs/hips going out
5. Visit a National Landmark: Grand Canyon, Niagra Falls etc.
6. See a show in NY on Broadway and/or the Metropolitan Opera

Angels were watching over me...

This last week led me to a couple scary experiences. I am confident in saying that God's angels were watching over me. On Thursday, I was coming back from helping Eric paint what was left in his house. Most of the snow was melted by salt at this time, and the area where I was was not very well lit. I was going about 35-40 when I hit a random patch of snow, slid across the other lane, and then turned left about 90 degrees. Luckily the person in front of me kept going and there wasn't anyone else around, otherwise I'd have been in for another crash landing. It makes me wonder if my car is really acceptable for driving in MO's weather conditions. I have had more problems in the snow with this car than any other car I've had, even the POS's.

On Saturday I was on my way to Layfette with some friends after visiting other establishments. My friend Liz S and I were in the back seat chatting away, when out of nowhere I felt the car being hit from the side. I really have no clue what happened, but I 'heard' the girl ran a red light because she almost hit the car in front of us apparently. Although she was dressed conspicuously I'm not sure why they didn't give her a breathalizer, as she seemed a little dramatic. Anyhoo, today my arm and neck are very sore, and once again I had to tell a chiropractor that I was in an accident. Thank God no one was seriously injured, and I'm glad I was smart to have two DD's around.

Overall this month has been flying by fast, has been very stressfully busy, and overall flat out strange. I am very thankful because things could have been worse those two nights. I am also very thankful that Eric was there, and was in a different car. It's very wierd to me than in a few weeks, this year will be over. Have I really accomplished anything worthwhile? What have I to say for myself? Is sometimes just making it through life's tests an accomplishment?

I have no time and other news

Last week was one crazy experience! I spent 90% of my time after work in rehearsal for the Philharmonic/ Gateway Men's Chorus/ St. Louis Women's Chorale Holiday pops concert. It turned out fabulous and was a sold out show. Unfortunately the programs were not updated, and so my name, among others, does not appear. On another note we have another concert series on the 17th and 18th of December. It will prove interesting being that I am singing a solo (yikes!) of which I would hope to do well.

On another note my roomie has finished unpacking, and I gave notice of my resignation for my weekend position. I found that I have been really worn out lately to the point of worrying a certain someone close to me. Also, while I enjoyed having the extra money to pay down some debt, the roomie aleves the pressure for me to continue wearing myself down to oblivion.

Today I experienced the symphony with my students and I was disappointed to have only heard one piece (The Sorcerer's Apprentice). While nicely done, I felt the students deserved more than one song for possibly their only experience of seeing a professional orchestra at Powell.

Well, as always, I am off. My small group is throwing a suprise shower for one of the girls having a baby boy. Adios!

Random Thoughts While Driving

Today I was on the way to my chiropractor/massage visit, which by the way are awesome! A commercial was on the radio about some show called "Millionaire" and what not. So it lead me to think about what would I do if I had a million dollars. (Yeah I guess that's cliche from the song.) I decided at the least I would pay off my debt. But then I was thinking, I might go back to school etc. Which then lead me to consider, if I had it to do all over again would I still choose the same profession? If school loans or other reality check items were not a factor, and I knew then what I know now, would I still go the same route toward my education?

The answer for now is, I'm not really sure. But consider this, if money didn't matter, what profession would you choose that would totally make you happy? I'm referring to a profession that you would wake up every morning during the week and think, man I love this job, I can't wait to go to work! Just thoughts. What are yours?

Situation Normal

I am very glad to say that I found a responsible roommate who placed her deposit with me today. We only wrote the lease until June 1, at which point I will decide if I will be staying in North County or moving on to other pastures. Thank you if you prayed for me to find a solution to this situation. It has alleviated a lot of pressure, especiallywith the pressure to do well at my weekend job.

On another note, if you need a nice, black retro dresser with mirror. It is availabe for purchase at a very nice price of $50. See link for pics.

Why I probably wouldn't move in with someone before marriage

Lately I've been hooked into reading Cosmo magazine. I was in the grocery store one day, bored, I picked it up for something to read. So this month I'm reading an article called "Is Five Years the New Forever?" by Jessie Knadler. She basically discusses how many newly-wed couples don't make it past five years these days. She lists 5 fatal flaws: Weak Foundation (bases for marriage a long time ago could be a strong point today), Point and Click Love (myth of the "Soul-Mate"), Trading up (rather than working through rough spots, you trade-up for someone else), "I Do"... for now (concept of the start marriage (only lasting 5 years) is accepted). Reading this article can throw anyone into 'caution' central, but for me I have found it just supports my current values.

Once upon a time, I did in fact choose to live with my beau of 2 years. I wanted to be out of the house and what better way that to live with the man I thought I loved? This being our 2nd time of living together (the first was a strangely unavoidable wierd scenario in college, which btw was a nightmare) I figured it would be better. For many reasons I felt the relationship was just not meeting my needs. I felt like I had to work around his insane work schedule, and I found myself not being very social with my friends who I knew were moving back to St. Louis from college. Once I began to make my own social life with friends (while he was working the night shift, so I rarely saw him) I realized that maybe I was in the relationship for the wrong reasons. He was a good guy, but I wanted to make sure we weren't just together to have a roomie. We were headed down the marriage path, but I wanted to be absolutely certain about the path we were about to embark on. So when he bought a nearby condo, I chose to move into my own apartment. We acted as close friends for a month, but then began to drift. I felt myself wanting to be single than on my way to marriage.

In the Cosmo magazine it states: "Many couples today live together before they marry (roughly 70 percent versus less than 5 percent 40 years ago, according to Stanley). Not that there's anything inherently wront with living together-plenty of happy unions result from it-but research shows that couples who do so before marrying have a 50 percent greater chance of getting divorced than those who don't." "... [People's] lives become so intertwined that they can end up sliding into marriage because it's convenient, not necesarily because the person will make a great spouse."

I know that I made the right decision 3-4 years ago, especially now that he is happily married and living in the Northern states, and I happily dating someone else. But I wonder would I consider moving in with someone else again? Or would I want them to move in with me? I guess it depends on the situation. I would not want to move out of convience, rather I would move because I couldn't stand to have another minutes drive apart (which right now is 40 minutes) and it was a lovingly-mutual decision. In other words, not a decision based on finances or some other agenda. Part of me says that it's a good idea, to make sure the person and I would be compatible living together. The other major part of me says no, because I think in taking a step that is originally meant for marriage the relationship-venture would be sure to fail. I say this based on the fact that in living together, you know there is a way out of a rough spots and would probably go the easy route (move out, end the relationship) rather than working something out. I'm not saying this goes for all relationships, each and every one is different. I personally would never buy the house together first and then get married. But then again, I've had a few friends do exactly that.

What's your take?

Date or Soul Mate?

Ok, yeah I admit, I read this book. While not bad and a fast read, some of it seemed pretty obvious to me. None-the-less it gave me some good questions to ponder. Anyone want to borrow it? I'm done with it now, and it will just collect dust.

High Tension

Last night I rented the movie called High Tension. A. I didn't realize that it was a French film translated to English with audio dub and B. I thought it was really pretty dumb. I'd say I lost interest after the first 20-30 minutes. The plot is very thin in the beginning and goes straight into the gory killing of the family. There is a twist at the end, but it's not very hard to figure out. While I would say the movie could be deemed 'tense' I wasn't too impressed with it. So much for taking the advice of the person at Blockbuster. I'd be better off sticking to my choices with the online rentals in my queue. Next up, The Upside of Anger.

Post Script: I actually ended up watching Fever Pitch tonight instead. It was really a good movie, but then again I like romantic comedy. :)

Top 10 Must-Haves, Can't Stands

I'm reading this book which encourages figuring out what you want in a relationship. Here is a tentative list of my top 10 "Must-Haves" and top 10 "Can't Stands." What are yours? Feel free to post anonymously, just make sure you are appropriate. P.S. If somehow these lists offend, consider this sentence an apology.


Top 10 "Must Haves"

1. Christian

2. Communicator, emotionally open

3. Ambitious

4. Intelligent, at least on my level or smarter

5. Respectful

6. Equally viewed, yet financially traditional

(i.e. will buy me a drink or pay for most dates)

7. Sense of humor

8. Open to trying/learning new things

9. Trustworthy

10. Chemical Spark, attractive appearance

Top 10 "Can't Stands"

1. Verbally or physically abusive

2. Bottled emotions, emotionally distant

3. Apathetic

4. Control-freak, plays games

5. Drug/Alcohol Addict

6. Has no common sense i.e. how to wash dishes, rake leaves, change a light fixture

7. Self-absorbed in own interests

8. Complete slob

9. Does not follow through on commitments

10. Unwilling to ‘go out of the box’

i carry your heart with me

Red Canna, c. 1923, oil on canvas, 36" x 30"

i carry your heart with me
e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Probiotics, Who knew?

I'm sure you know that birth-control pills can have varying side-affects. Some are good, like having better skin, lighter cycles, and less painful experiences each month. Some are bad like leg cramps, bloating, among other things. Well I was off the pill for a while because I had made a mistake that was causing me to experience early term pregnancy symptoms, otherwise known as morning sickness. Stop taking the pill, the problem goes away. After my system reblanced itself, I went back on it, and experience a side-effect that I had forgotten all about. This problem happened to me before 3 years ago with the same brand so I decided to go with Jasmine.

Anyway as you all know I'm also prone to getting sick quite a bit. My mom suggested taking probiotics. I thought it interesting that by taking this supplement not only are my side-effects diminishing, I'm sure they will be gone once the supplement is completely in my system and my body gets used to the new hormonal balance from the new pill. Look at all the things that taking this pill does:

Probiotics play a key role in human nutrition and health in balancing the intestinal microflora naturally. Probiotics have been used therapeutically to modulate immunity, improve digestive processes, lower cholesterol, treat rheumatoid arthritis, prevent cancer, improve lactose intolerance, and prevent or reduce the effects of atopic dermatitis, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, IBS, diarrhea, constipation as well as candidiasis and urinary tract infections⁽²¹⁾.

I'll let you know how it works out in the long run, but itsn't it worth a try? This one pill might help keep me from getting sick at school and do all these other things mentioned above, not to mention eliminate my original problem :)

I have been blessed!

I'm not sure why I deserve it, but God has been blessing me lately with some wonderful things. This weekend I happened to win the Weekends Only warrantee contest for the month. I was in desperate need of a boom box, and voila, there it was, for free! On top of that it was a comission check and I had taken the a whole weekend off for that pay period so it wouldn't have been much money normally. I hadn't been expecting the commission so it was like a blessing of surprise, I had time to relax and still have the money to get by.

God has also blessed me with relatively good health, vocal health in particular. People around me who have had difficulties that I prayed for seem to be doing better. I have also found a possible roommate, and look forward to meeting her. Let's not forget that I have also been lucky to meet a very great guy who treats me wonderfully :)

I just wanted to give a shout out to God for all the great things He has done for me, especially recently. I'm not used to not having some 'major catastrophe' (ok, well, huge concern) that I'm not completely worried about. Somehow I just really feel God has things under control, and right now He's allowing me time to recoup from whatever craziness I've been experiencing in the past year. Yeah! If you have been praying for my friends, family, and I Thank you!

Happy Halloween!

After having such a very busy last week and weekend, thi past weekend was just what the Dr. ordered. I had Friday off work and did basically nothing all day. Then I went to see The Medium, which is an opera with a darker side. It was really good. Saturday I went to Jen's Halloween party and saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen in a really long time. I had forgotten I chopped off all my hair until I had a bunch of compliments on it. Danielle at Regis in NW Plaza is awesome! Sunday was yet another relaxing day. Eric and I were going to go skeet shooting, but the powerlines were zapped so the houses would not throw the skeet correctly. Instead I took him to visit the rest of the family: mom, brother, grandma and then we ate dinner in his neck of the woods.

On another note, I'm seriously going to complain to the city about the fire hydrant less than a foot from my driveway. This weekend marks 3 people (including myself) that have hit the hydrant in 2 years. Even the people who lived here before me ran into it. I tried reflector sticks, the kids took them to play games. I put reflective tape on the hydrant itself and then the city painted over it. This thing has GOT TO GO! What a nusance! What genius came up with the idea of putting a hydrant at the end of a driveway less than 12 inches away from the concrete I'd like to know?

(1947) Gian Carlo Menotti
	The sun is falling and it lies in blood The moon is weaving bandages of gold Old Black Swan where oh where is my lover now Where oh where is my lover now Torn and tattered is my bridal gown and my lamp is lost With silver needles and with silver threads The stars stitch a route for the dying sun Old Black Swan where oh where is my lover now I had given him a kiss and a golden ring And a golden ring I had given him a kiss of fire and a golden ring Oh with silver needles and with silver threads The stars stitch a route for the dying sun Black Wing o Black Wing take me down with you Take me down with you take me down with you Take me down with you Old Black Swan take me down with you I had given him a kiss of fire Take me down with you

Painting and more painting

Alright so in the past few weeks I've managed to finally get the deck stained. It only took 6 hours (only), but it looks good. I also happened to paint the ceilings in the living room, kitchen, and hallway. Did I mention I also primed, and painted the entire basement this last weekend? I know it sounds exciting, but that's what I've been up to.

My birthday was great! I met some friends at Druken Fish and feasted on a wonderful dinner. Unfortunately it was in Westport so I didn't feel the need to leave the area for better pastures afterwards but I really appreciate my friends coming and hanging out with me. Sunday was comprised of finishing the basement (that I started Friday night), and then I went to Home Depot with Eric to help him pick paint for his house. Yeah, more painting is in store, but it's ok, it'll be worth it!

Tuesday I went to the Melting Pot with Liz and Kyle. I hadn't seen them since August, WOW! It's been a crazy weekend, followed by a crazy week. Well I know this is isn't poetic or deeply inspiring, but I don't have time to write anything really worthwhile, but I wanted an update of something. :)

Happy Halloween!

Prayer request

I recently was told some disheartening news from a couple of my friends. One has lost a grandpa to a heart attack, and one has just lost her mother to terminal cancer (she passed in her sleep). If you are the praying kind, please pray for my friends and their families in this difficult time. Thanks!

Think on the Truth, Train Your Thoughts, and Love God with All Your Mind

I went to small group tonight and was very thankful for the Lord providing me with enough strength and commitment to go. I felt guilty and tired working Sundays so I worked out my schedule so that I could be at church (ie have a day of rest) and still work the minimum hours required. I just hope that I can make up for my lack of a roommate with this cutting down of my hours and still make sales (being that Sunday was my best Sales day.)

Anyway, my small group is studying the book Loving God with All Your Mind. The concepts within are so simple, yet challenging ways by which one can look toward God and His Word for strength. It is not only my goal to at least attend Small Group where possible, but to really commit to studying the message of what we read and converse about it with other Christians.

I find it difficult to sustain my committment because I'm surrounded by a world that is less supportive of spiritual life. I could really use an accountability partner or someone who is understanding, yet pushes me to continue on my journey. I find my spiritual journey to be very zig-zag as opposed to continued steady growth. I will admit that I am growing, it's just really slow. There are concepts I have a hard time grasping, and in this study we are to think on what is true.

Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworhty- thing about such things.

The book encourages us to think on things that are ture and real, rather than allowing our emotions and feelings to bring us down. Chapter 3 discussed relationships with others, not 'relationships' per se, but how you relate to others. For example do you ever find yourself thinking: " I don't think he/she means what she/he said; I wonder what I've done wrong; I wonder what he/she thinks about me; I wonder what he/she wants from me," etc. The Bible tells us to discuss our problems with someone privately (avoid gossip) (Matt 18:15).

Do you just find your self over-analyzing situations or interactions with people and then you are worried about how things are going? Yeah, that's me in a nut-shell, at least I'm inwardly cautious hoping that I don't say the wrong things or hurt someone accidently or stick my foot in my mouth. Rather than speculating, we need to focus on the truth, actual experiences and actions not worrying what others think. We should stop second-guessing our relationships. If there is a problem, we have a committment as Christians to disucss it with that person. We should believe the best and take things as truth, and not as perceived truth.

Sounds simple right? I guess I'm always second-guessing myself and how people really feel about me. Am I doing the right thing? Am I a good teacher? Did I say something to hurt someone else by accident? I just need to hope that God will give me insight toward anyone I may have inavertenly or avertly wronged so that I can confront them and resolve any wrong doing or that that person would tell me honestly if I've wronged them.

I'm really glad that my school is doing an 'appreciation' month wherein we all write something nice to someone (via pick-a-name from a box) every week. I think we all get caught up in our work that weget bogged down and don't feel appreciated for what we do, nor have the time to really express appreciation. I've received some very nice comments from people, and I really didn't know that I was 'uplifting and cheerful' and 'brought musical fun for the students.' I guess I'm always second-guessing myself because of the past, and this chapter basically states that it brings you down as a person and is not the way to be loving God.

My goal is to readjust my thinking and think on the truth, be more confident in myself and just 'relax'. I've heard from a few people who find me to be a very positive person, but I guess just deep down I didn't believe the truth. So, I'm going to try to think on the truth, and I hope God helps me make it happen :)

Other verses I need to remember:

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

They were adopted :)

In case you were wondering, Zorro was adopted a couple weeks ago by a very excited family and I just found out LeLu was adopted this Saturday. I'm very happy that my animals found loving homes so quickly and that I made the right decision by turning to Doggy Doodles for help.

GO CARDS!

What an awesome game tonight! I was in choir for most of it, but I caught the 7-9 innings! How cool was the home run by Pujols? AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

Looming Stress

If you remember reading earlier my roommate used a lame excuse (even though the problem has been rectified) to move out of her lease early so she could live with her boyfriend. I agreed on certain conditions so as not to cause a 'scene.' Needless to say, I'm short a roommate starting Nov. 1 and I'm very concerned about my financial standing after she is officially moved out. I have an ad on Craig's list, but am skeptical of some of the responses. I'm really stressing out, and don't know really what to do. I don't think it would be wise to try to sell a house right before Christmas and on top of that I don't know where I'd go simply because living here is technically so cheap. I'm not really paying that much more than my apartment from before (well before I'm sure rates went up) but as you know I made some bad financial choices by putting my nursing school pre-reqs on a credit card (how dumb was that!). Anyway, financially I'm making progress, but it was all based on having a roomie until her lease was up and now I find myself worried about floundering again. Please pray for me that I can manage my finances wisely with my weekend job, and that I don't fall apart health wise from working so much and attempting to keep sane by having a social life. I really hope I can find a roommate, I just need one for 6 months, and than I'm considering selling. I've already finished some projects I started a while back (ceilings are now freshly painted and I finally got the deck done). I have 2 more which is to paint the basement and the kitchen cabinets just to update them a bit (not that they are really bad now). I could really use your prayers and support. -A

I'm Back!

I survived another 4 days of 5th grade camp! It was fun, but really exhausting this time. I think some of it was because we had more students this year. I really enjoyed seeing the students in another light and getting to know the other teachers even more than I get to at school. I ate so many s'mores I can't even count, but they were delicious! This is why I must teach camp crafts, what is more fun than making food all day and teaching kids how to do it themselves on their own fires ;)

On another note, I'm preparing to finally paint the basement. I thought about it for a while and the paneling has to be painted. I'm going with a white-beige color. I think it will brighten things up a bit. I decided to also change my hours at Weekends, so at least I'll have one day off a week. I finally told them I'd like to do customer service, and the manager asked me if I had management experience (ie she's leaving and they are looking for someone new), but alas I already have a full-time job. I do have lots of customer service experience, and I manage my own classroom, but that's about it.

10 more days until I'm 28! YIKES!

Good things come to those who wait...

This last week was eye-opening for me. Someone I have come to cherish and care about was out-of-town for almost two weeks. It made me realize how much I valued this person's presence in my life and how much happier and appreciative I was when we are able to spend quality time together. I look foward to many more good times and future memories. God has definitely bestowed his blessings upon me as of late. Thank you God!

On another note this last weekend I went to surprise and old friend from TSU marching band. Becky from SAI suggested that we go surprise him at the homecoming game in which his marching band was playing. Being with some of my college friends brought back a lot of old memories. When we were sitting on the bleachers during the game, it felt like almost nothing had changed between us or at least how we related. I was reminded of many-a-great band cheer and certain traditions which found themselves in the cobwebs of my memory. "Super rutabaga, super rutabaga, super rutabaga, ru-ta-ba-ga!" will now be carried on at my friend's high school thanks to us.

"Wow, what a GREAT band!" :)

Events to look foward to:

Bloodhound Gang at the Pageant
My 28th Birthday (I guess)
HALLOWEEN!!!!

Sex in the City

Yesterday I was a little down in the dumps for various reasons. I was just tired, cranky and a close friend of mine is out of town. I decided to take a nap when I awoke to a message being left on my answering machine. Apparently it was "Tom" from the Farmington Correctional Facility wanting to make a collect call. Obviously a wrong number, I proceeded to laugh really hard and watch the "Sex in the City" DVD's I bought after work. I decided I needed a pick-me-up so I bought them while doing errands. I then drank almost a bottle of wine watching all of Season 6. Nothing like some good cinema therapy to at least make the day bearable.

On another note I've been receiving calls out-of-the-blue from people I haven't conversed with in a bit. The most surprising one was hearing from my friend Tim in TX who is visiting St. Louis shortly. It was good to hear that he was doing ok, and the hurricane hadn't affected his area. It makes me wonder, how much more of an effort does it take to keep up with people who don't live even remotely close to you as compared to those who do but are really busy? I have a friend here in St. L that most of us haven't heard from in a year. Just a random thought.

Gwyneth Walker

The St. Louis Women's Chorale is going to NY City to perform in Carnegie Hall with Gwyneth Walker. Today I was searching for the piece (this link is our group singing) our group commissioned for the 30th anniversary performance. (Note: From here on, the links are NOT of St. Louis Women's Chorale singing!) This is one of my favorites thus far.

I really enjoy the texts and the settings to which she composes. Here is a set of six poems all by May Swenson set to music by Gwyneth Walker. I included a link to the poems (this time) because I had them all typed and then something happened with blogger and it erased everything. Being later at night, I have not the patience to rewrite everything. Listen and enjoy (well, some performances could use a bit of adjustment for my ear, but you get the idea anyway).

1. Women Should Be Pedestals
2. Mornings Innocent
3. The Name is Changeless
4. Love is a Rain of Diamonds
5. In Autumn
6. I Will Be Earth

Sang a solo in choir today

Today I went to choir and was conversing with a fellow friend and singer when our director asked me if I could sing a solo for one of the songs we were going to rehearse that night. I hadn't looked at the song (or even heard it before), and he taught us the solo in 2 minutes (there was another solo part at the same time as mine). I accidently came in a beat early the first session, but figured it out the second time. People said I have a really nice warm tone. It was a little nerve wracking but I think that's just because it took me off gaurd at first. That, and suddenly I'm getting this stuffed up nose thing that started just a few hours ago. I think it's allergies but I'm taking "Airborne" just to be safe. Anyway all went well, and I was really excited about it afterwards. This doesn't mean I'll always be singing it, but it was fun just the same. You think that being a vocal music major and a teacher of music that I wouldn't be nervous, but I was for at least a couple minutes. It just felt good to 'stick myself out there' and do pretty decently. I almost even miss singing for all the weddings that I had done in the past. Maybe I'll start up taking voice lessons again if I can afford it and have time. I could use a few pointers since I'm sure my voice has matured/ changed a bit since I last had lessons in college.

I just wanted to share this little tidbit. I know it's nothing exciting in the long-term scheme of things, but I felt good about it and wanted to share the news. I think I might even audition for it if given the chance :)

Oct. 1 Baseball Game

I was lucky enough to have taken off work Saturday for another reason, and was able to go to the A-B Family Baseball game on October 1st. The weather was perfect and it was great game. I took a bunch of photos for memory sake (before they tear down the stadium) and am sharing a few here. I'm not sure why the old one has to go, but I'll miss it just the same, simply for the memories I experienced going there. I was hoping just to make at least one game this season, and I lucked out with 2 in one week. Gotta love it!

Pets are officially gone...

Zorro and LeLu are now owned by Doggy Doodles until they are adopted into wonderful, loving permanent homes. While 1 person disagreed with my choice, everyone on the whole has been very supportive. It was a very hard decision to make, but at least they will stay fostered in someone's home until a forever-home is found. I realized that Cheyenne was my 'one true love' in terms of pets, but I think perhaps she was found and whoever found her never bothered to check the microchip :( For now, Cosetta will be my loving kitty, and that is enough for me.

While I miss them, I know it was the right thing to do.

Skeet League is starting, which means I'm probably 'out' for a bit

Well today was a very strange day at the range. It will probably be one of the last times I visit the Maple Leaf Gun Club until another type of league begins. No more will there be the Thursday night ritual. :( My Dad of course invited me to come Thursday since they will most likely need an alternate, they say I shoot better than this other person, which is not saying much. I have definitely improved, but today I felt like I was almost starting from scratch. I needed a bit of coaching from my Dad, and then, bam I was back on track again. Wierd how that works, but I guess these people have been doing this since they were 10 and I'm still very much 'wet behind the ears.'

Unfortunately it means I'll probably lose a bit of what I learned, but maybe it'll give my brain some time to sink it all in. League is actually based on averages, so if I beat my average it would actually help the team, which is why I think they wouldn't mind having me on here and there. Besides, my Dad shoots on a team which goes for fun mostly, so they're usually around last place according to him. Anyway it means I won't be able to see my two favorite people as much, and give me time to de-stress, but there is always TKB class!

These next couple weeks will be an adjustment for me for various reasons. I can't wait to go to Camp again with the kids this year, it's definitely something I'm looking forward to. I need a little break from the routine, I can feel it. Well anyway, it's late. I was up doing chores, and felt like writing before bed. 'Night.

Really Busy

Wow I didn't realize that I was so busy! I didn't realize that all of my friends have written all these posts on their blogs and I didn't even have time to notice. Normally I'm almost 'waiting' to hear about how they are doing. Crazy! I like being busy, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Shayna's blog (see link under "links") hit home for me. Luckily God is doing good things in my life right now, I just hope it stays that way. I don't know how many more crushes to my heart that I can take. I feel that I am a resilient person, but with each blow, with each failure I become more sensitive and less confident in who I am to the core. I would say more things on this blog, but I'm worried I'll jinx myself. I'll just say thank God for my Dad being who he is!

Pets are going going gone....

I'm gearing for change and two of my pets have to go. They will be offered up for adoption at PetSmart in Ballwin (doggy doodles are taking them as of Saturday) if you want to offer them a home, great. If not I hope they can find them one. I have too many pets and I have no time to take care of them. I will be down to one after this.

Here's their info, email for pics:

LeLu: 4 year old Himalayan cat, spayed, microchipped, UTD until Dec. Friendly, but likes things on her own terms, used to other animals, fur requires grooming.

Zorro: 4 year old ChiMix, 20 lbs, neutered, microchipped, UTD until Aug. 2006. SUPER friendly, active, and loves to cuddle, knows tricks, and is kennel trained.

Animals have to go, my roommate as a problem with them, and I just don't have the time anymore that they deserve. I will miss them, but this has to be done. Regardless, my roomie moving out by end of Oct. I am also considering moving, and will be able to tell you more later as time passes.

Barely Oct, and I'm wearing down fast!

I can't believe it's almost October, says my brain, however my body is totally feeling it. I'm finally over the stomach thing and I have reason to believe my voice will be back to completely normal (sounds normal now, just tires easily) by the end of this week. I've been going to bed early and drinking tons of water, you'd think that would mean I'd feel more energized, yet I'm exhausted. It's only 530 and I'm forcing myself to stay up to even write this. I refuse to take a nap! Maybe I'm tired because my appetite left me these last few days. Maybe the kids are wearing me down (today was just madness!). I'm not sure, but I'd like to know where my energy is going.

Sometimes I feel like I'm running around in circles with no end in site. I think a good part of this is because I'm stressed with a particular situation I was not planning for until March 1. I don't want to go into it here, but needless to say it has me quite worried. Wheareas my part-time job was to help me pay off my bills finally, now it will be to 'just get by' again, and that scares me to no end. I'm going so far as to consider selling my house in the Spring. I've been feeling a need for change for a while, I just don't know what to do with it, or why exactly I'm feeling it.

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart. -Opening scene of "Faust"

I had the above quote in my email signature. Everytime I see it on a return email I forget that it was from a previous email from me. I found a new signature for my email, but took another second to reflect on this one before cutting it. As I was reading I thought, how true, a person does see the world based on what they are carring in their hearts. Despite the fact that I feel sick and worn down (already, I know), I am happy. I am very grateful for all the wonderful people that I have in my life, and grateful for all those who may someday be in my life. A particular person whom I've known only for a couple months has been showing me what happiness is simply by being in existence. I find myself being more patient at work, being on the whole more smiley, and I'd even say more outgoing and less shy with people I don't know as well. Yeah, me shy you say? Yes, I can be shy in certain situations. I'm not sure if it's because I'm more confident of myself at work or because I am more confident because of this person, but either way I find myself being someone I didn't even know existed and I'm loving it! I pray that I am able to recover from this evil bout of stomach upsets because it's really affecting my voice with acid reflux and all. But I pray even more that I continue on this path. I am so happy it's crazy! Thank you God, I love you!

I'd lose my head if it weren't attached :)

This past week and weekend were very very busy, but it was all fabulous. I am finding myself worn out, but in tremendously good spirits because of my close friends and family. I've had some somewhat bad news come my way, but I chose to be calm and compromise with the individual from whom the bad news came. All in all, I think we had a good discussion.

Friday I worked a few hours and purchased these screens to hide the litter box locations. I took Saturday and Sunday off for my various activities as follows, and what a GORGEOUS weekend it was! Saturday I went to finally pick up my contacts which had been at the Dr.'s for about 2 months. As I went to also finally get my tire fixed (it had a leak) from a camping trip two months ago, I did a bit of shopping. Unfortunately my car needed more than just a leak fixed, but I could see and hear the problems so I knew it wasn't just mindless additions. I then caught up with my roomie, and by that time I hurried to get ready for dinner and for ColdPlay. (I saw Rebecca on my way out of the concert, but she didn't recognize me with my hair, oh well.) I hadn't been to a concert at UMB, it was really nice to be there. The weather was gorgeous, the music fabulous, and a big full moon shone down on us to keep us company. Today I went to Dennis' surprise 30th b-day party, visited my parents and went to see 40 Year Old Virgin, which I recommend if you need a laugh.

I managed to get food poisoning or stomach flu Friday and really haven't recovered. Eating has not been fun so I'm going to the Dr. tommorow. I've had so much acid reflux that my voice is hoarse, and when things mess with my voice, I start to get paranoid. Wish me luck!

Kitty has a home

No one ever claimed poor kitty as posted below despite my internet posts and St. Louis Post ad, however, someone from school came by today to give her a loving home. I am sure my roommate will be pleased. I guess she thought I was planning to keep the young cat, but quite the opposite. I heard her murming to a friend on the phone when she came in and I was still working on being awake. I'm sorry but I'm not about to let a poor animal starve and die of dehydration from the heat. Either way my limit was tommorow in terms of finding her a home, and it happened just in time.

On the other hand, I had a really nice past week and weekend. Everything is just flying by and I'm loving it. I hope to improve my skeet shooting skills, as my high house shots have been just the pits. My goal is to attempt to get some time in Thursday once everyone is done with their games, but we'll see. I finally got rid of some things my parents wanted me to sell, but still have a couple others that are driving me nuts just 'being around.' I also had about 6 inches cut from my hair and got rid of the highlights. I just decided I needed a change. You should go to Regis in NW Plaza and see Danielle (the manager) she did an excellent job! Ok so that's it for random news. I could say more, but who wants to listen to me blab.

Found Kitten

Found kitten (young cat)

I found this kitten (very young cat) around my house today. If you know the owner, or want to give it a home, let me know. It was very friendly, but I'm sure will need to be checked by a vet.

Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet... What?

Here we go now what? No, I'm not talking about THAT skeet. I'm talking about skeet shooting. While I seem to have reached a plateau (getting better at some points, worse in others), I think skeet shooting is FUN! I have two friends already who want to come with me. [Julie and Kate, my Dad said he would teach you on a 'slow' day we just have to arrange it (probably a Tuesday about 600p.)] Anyway, this Thursday my Dad is out of town so I'm on my own. I'm a little nervous, but the guys will help me (they never fail to give pointers :) and are patient with my faults because they know I'm new. I've only shot a gun 5 times in my life now, and I'm only up to about 15 rounds or so. It takes about 50k rounds to get good, if that tells you anything, so they all think I'm doing pretty well. I don't understand why I can no longer hit the easiest station, and I'm getting better at the others. Oh well what can you do?

I think I have several things to work on (which could probably be anyone): figuring out the lead with the timing at each station, swinging all the way through the shot (instead of stopping when I shoot), and making sure I'm not bring the gun's aim down to the target, but up to it (for some reason I kept doing that Monday). Lots to work on, what a fun new hobby. Wish I were better at it, sometimes it can be frustrating, but hey it's all guys so they don't care if I throw out a few explicatives because they do the same thing ahahahah!

Craziness everywhere!

I HAD to buy gas today. Guess how much to fill a 13 gallon tank? $40! This is ridiculous! I'm scared to even go anywhere far now just because I'm hearing of gas shortages, and now it's $40 just for a tank of gas. This is at least 2x what I have prepared in my already tight budget. On top of that we have this craziness happening with the disaster in the southern states. I was talking to someone last night while on "The Walk" and they said that if you applied the catastrophe here, basically the entire city of St. Louis, east St. Louis, and it's nearby counties would be flooded with water! WOW! Here's a letter if you are interested in helping. Unfortunately I have to work so I can't help, but maybe you can. Who's making fun of me now for choosing to live close to my work? I am just in shock that gas went up literally .40 in 2 days (I knew it was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier:(

From Habitat for Humanity:

Hello All,

I am a St. Louis Habitat Volunteer and am organizing a Health Kit and Flood Bucket drive to be held this Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 3 and 4th, 9:00am-9:00pm each day, at the Deer Creek Shopping Center parking lot, between Big Bend and Laclede Station Rd, in Maplewood, MO. (Across the street from Maple Days.) We'll be collecting kitsand items for kits that meet the guidelines set by United Methodist Committee on Relief (UMCOR) (www.umcor.org) or see below. These kits have the essentials needed to take a small step towards recovery after a disaster.

*Volunteers are needed at the collection site, and may have to assemble the kits from donated materials.

*One or two hour shifts would likely be the ideal arrangement, but if you can stay longer it would be great!

* Time is of the essence.

*Can't volunteer? Stop by the collection site and say "hi" in any case.

Please pass this information along to anyone you know. If you know of any business willing to donate materials or other supplies, please pass this on. There is much still to do.

Below are the lists for Flood Buckets and Health Kits.

Health Kits are a PRIORITY.

Please respond if available to volunteer.

Thank you,

Dale Chambers

c. 314-724-1905

Guidelines for Health Kit

A Health Kit contains specific items:

1 hand towel (15" x 25" up to 17" x 27")
1 wash cloth
1 comb (large and sturdy, not pocket-sized)
1 nail file or fingernail clippers (no emery boards or toenail clippers)
1 bath-size bar of soap (3 oz and up)
1 toothbrush (single brush only in original wrapper; no child-sized brushes)
1 large tube of toothpaste (4.5 or larger, expiration date must be 6 months or longer in advance of the date of shipment to Sager Brown)
6 adhesive plastic strip sterile bandages

All items should be placed inside a sealed one-gallon plastic bag. No money, notes, religious or political literature, or other items should be placed in the kits.

From the Humane Society:

Emergency Foster Homes Needed
Cats, dogs, horses and farm animals displaced by Hurricane Katrina need temporary homes

The Humane Society of Missouri has received numerous calls from people who have fled the Hurricane Katrina disaster area and have arrived in St. Louis needing temporary boarding for their pets. To aid these storm victims, we have set up an Emergency Foster Animal Clearinghouse to help match persons with animals needing boarding with persons who have available space.

If you are willing to help people with pets, horses or farm animals in need and have facilities to provide for them, please sign up as a foster home via our web site. We will contact you as we have requests for the service you are able to provide.

Thank you very much for your generosity in this time of great need. Please forward this email to others who might be interested in providing foster animal care.

If you would like to donate to help support the eight-person Humane Society of Missouri Disaster Response Team currently rescuing animals in the hurricane stricken area, please call 314-951-1542 or make a contribution on our secure website. Read more>>

PLEASE NOTE: Because this is an emergency situation, the Humane Society of Missouri is acting merely as a clearinghouse and makes no guarantee about the health or suitability of animals or suitability of foster homes.