I went to small group tonight and was very thankful for the Lord providing me with enough strength and commitment to go. I felt guilty and tired working Sundays so I worked out my schedule so that I could be at church (ie have a day of rest) and still work the minimum hours required. I just hope that I can make up for my lack of a roommate with this cutting down of my hours and still make sales (being that Sunday was my best Sales day.)
Anyway, my small group is studying the book Loving God with All Your Mind. The concepts within are so simple, yet challenging ways by which one can look toward God and His Word for strength. It is not only my goal to at least attend Small Group where possible, but to really commit to studying the message of what we read and converse about it with other Christians.
I find it difficult to sustain my committment because I'm surrounded by a world that is less supportive of spiritual life. I could really use an accountability partner or someone who is understanding, yet pushes me to continue on my journey. I find my spiritual journey to be very zig-zag as opposed to continued steady growth. I will admit that I am growing, it's just really slow. There are concepts I have a hard time grasping, and in this study we are to think on what is true.
Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworhty- thing about such things.
The book encourages us to think on things that are ture and real, rather than allowing our emotions and feelings to bring us down. Chapter 3 discussed relationships with others, not 'relationships' per se, but how you relate to others. For example do you ever find yourself thinking: " I don't think he/she means what she/he said; I wonder what I've done wrong; I wonder what he/she thinks about me; I wonder what he/she wants from me," etc. The Bible tells us to discuss our problems with someone privately (avoid gossip) (Matt 18:15).
Do you just find your self over-analyzing situations or interactions with people and then you are worried about how things are going? Yeah, that's me in a nut-shell, at least I'm inwardly cautious hoping that I don't say the wrong things or hurt someone accidently or stick my foot in my mouth. Rather than speculating, we need to focus on the truth, actual experiences and actions not worrying what others think. We should stop second-guessing our relationships. If there is a problem, we have a committment as Christians to disucss it with that person. We should believe the best and take things as truth, and not as perceived truth.
Sounds simple right? I guess I'm always second-guessing myself and how people really feel about me. Am I doing the right thing? Am I a good teacher? Did I say something to hurt someone else by accident? I just need to hope that God will give me insight toward anyone I may have inavertenly or avertly wronged so that I can confront them and resolve any wrong doing or that that person would tell me honestly if I've wronged them.
I'm really glad that my school is doing an 'appreciation' month wherein we all write something nice to someone (via pick-a-name from a box) every week. I think we all get caught up in our work that weget bogged down and don't feel appreciated for what we do, nor have the time to really express appreciation. I've received some very nice comments from people, and I really didn't know that I was 'uplifting and cheerful' and 'brought musical fun for the students.' I guess I'm always second-guessing myself because of the past, and this chapter basically states that it brings you down as a person and is not the way to be loving God.
My goal is to readjust my thinking and think on the truth, be more confident in myself and just 'relax'. I've heard from a few people who find me to be a very positive person, but I guess just deep down I didn't believe the truth. So, I'm going to try to think on the truth, and I hope God helps me make it happen :)
Other verses I need to remember:
Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment