Blessings from Above

Lately I have found my thoughts wandering toward self-doubt, lonliness, depressions, solitude. I almost wanted to be completely left alone for a while, and this is just not who I am. These are all thoughts that are usually out of mind as I go through my day to day busyness in life. Last night I asked God to help me overcome whatever is bogging me down. I know what is bothering me, but there isn't much I can do about it, other than let time heal itself.

So today I awoke with just enough time to be ready for work, and along with the weather it was like I was a changed person. I was ecstatic about life, almost hyper. I wanted to be outside playing with the kiddos at recess. :) My students noticed too. You can just tell how they reacted differently. Monday I was working with the 1st graders, and I thought so this is what a glimpse of heaven is like? Something about the song and the dance we were doing, the cool rainbow carpet I received to help with seating. I don't know, it was just a great feeling to be working together and seeing the students enjoy themselves. Little kids can be so great, they have taught me more than I think I have taught them, if nothing else. I have definitely learned how to be a more patient person, and to not get so frustrated when a lesson doesn't go quite right. Sometimes it just takes a little more work, or a little more repetition until they do the 'ah ha' moment.

At that moment, I realized that God wanted me to be a teacher. Not only because of my knowledge or expertise in music, but because I needed the students to also teach me. It's amazing how much I really feel that I have changed over this school year. I don't feel so pressured or like I'm walking on broken glass, that every move is a wrong one. I am given the freedom to work with the students, to improve on my lessons and teaching style, and give them experiences that will create lasting memories of fun and learning in class.

Thank you God, for making me the reflective, analytical person that I am. I once thought it be an annoying trait of mine, to analyze everything, but now I see why I have this trait. It is so that I may know you better, and to better understand the meanings of the experiences/events occuring to me and to others.