This weekend was completely jammed packed for me. I didn't know it was going to be that way, but it was. Friday I last-minutely decided to help serve at a Metropolis fundraiser. It was good to meet new people and just be out. Saturday Jen invited me to a friend's 40th b-day party, and it was pretty cool too. I did end up losing my coat though. Somehow mine was confused, because there was one left not-as-similar but close enough to mine left over. So I have someone's coat now, and I really hope whoever has mine notices they have the wrong coat. They even have my gloves.
Well that's not really the point of my blog today. But hey it wouldn't be me if I didn't through in the 'how was my weekend' or 'week' stuff, right? There will be sometimes when I actually go in depth and talk about something really meaningful to me, but only as much as I feel comfortable sharing. Fair enough eh?
Well, suffice it to say I had a huge spiritual and emotional break-through this weekend. It just sort of hit me 'out of the blue' and it was not something I could ignore. God has been 'working at me' trying to dig out somethings I've been holding on to for some reason, and I needed to let it go. I think that I finally have, and I feel very free by Him. This leaves me very vulnerable though, intimidated, scared for the future. And I have direction, I just hope I continue on the right road.
Today at church I ran into someone I sang in Cantoria with for at least 2 years, but I never got to know (she was in a different part than I). Her singing moved me, I almost cried in church. Well she asked me about the DLT Challenge, and I was thinking about getting the brochure, but was so loopy for whatever reason (it's like my brain was erased or something) I didn't realize the meeting was today and you're supposed to sign up. So I conquer my fears, and go to the meeting. Yep, that's where I was supposed to be today. Normally I'm intimidated by the 'community' setting in the church. I know very little people, very little and despite that most of them went to TSU and were in my path there, I just never connected with them really. It's hard because I think I really need more Christian friends in my life to help guide me and set me straight. I feel like I've been 'doing this alone' which as we know is impossible and I fail every time. I was involved with a small few of these people in a Bible study at TSU, but now it's just akward for me even to say 'hello' because I'm worried they'll be like "why is she here?" I'm crazy, I know. I'm just really shy around situations that I don't 'have the feel of' just yet. I need to put more into my efforts and my walk with God, period. That's at least 90% of the problem I'm sure.
Well anyway, I'm off. I just need to be alone, reading, contemplating. I almost feel weak today, just not myself at all. I guess that's why I was 'loopy.' I can't even write straight, you wouldn't believe the strange wording mistakes I made while I was writing this; some are still there I'm sure. Well keep praying for me. I need it a lot!
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