My place in this world

It's very strange but I really feel that I have found where I am supposed to be. I was so tired today after this weekend, but it really wasn't so bad because it seemed the students and other teachers were tired as well. I don't know if I'm more patient/understanding or because I was their teacher last year so I have more respect or because I've found better ways to keep them focused, but my students seem to be 'right with me.' They are like sponges and I'm loving it. It's maybe the 3rd-4th time they've seen me this year and I have them counting rhythms, reviewing solfege syllables, reviewing or introducing musical terms, or exploring dancing/movement and steady beat. I wouldn't say any of them are 'angels' just that they seem to have miracuously remembered a good deal of what I taught them last year and it feels great! I can see some students will be more challenging than others but I already feel very attached to them like they are my own. I really didn't know teaching could be this way. I was so bogged down for my first three years that I really didn't have much chance to enjoy it other than the obvious successes and really good days. I love working with my students, and I pray one way or the other the enrollement or other opportunities within the district will keep me full time (hopefully at my school since I love it there!) next year.

I didn't imagine that I would actually figure out where I was supposed to be in life. For a while I really felt that I made the wrong choice and I should have gone the nursing route. I still have time to go back to school before my anatomy class 'expires' but I'm really not so sure that is what I want. I enjoy where I am and want to give as much as I can to my students (well within reason :) I am also working on getting my debt down to minimum. I ran into a couple students this weekend at my weekend position, and they seemed really excited seeing me outside of school. It was cute. I'm hoping I'm successful there enough to at least stay on for as long as I need/want to in order to accomplish my debt-reducing goals. Somehow I have a feeling my life will be completely "up in the air" next year. I don't know why or how exactly, but I have a feeling it will involve a move, a new job, or something different as in 'major' change. Usually I'm right about my intution so I'm trying to make this year count one way or the other. My intuition is about as 'right on' as me predicting various marriages with friends or predicting outcomes of something might say to me before they even say it. This is the feeling I'm getting, and it could be God's way of saying "get ready, change is coming fairly soon."

I don't know what change I'm not doing anything different. Nothing 'major' has really happened to me like a new boyfriend, or move, or new car type thing. Maybe my change is more of an inner change. Either way I really feel something is coming whatever it is, and I have to be ready. I feel that whatever I'm doing now, is getting me ready for whatever it is. I know that sounds wierd and vague but it's how I feel, and I know it means something of significance. Anyway, as I was thinking of writing this blog, I heard this song in my head. Of course, everything must relate to a song being who I am. Here it is:


My Place in this World performed by Michael W. Smith


The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful
A head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like i’m

Chorus:
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong
Is there a vision
That I can call my own
Show me i’m

Chorus