It's mid-term break, and I can't believe how much time I have. I haven't studied for any tests, read any non-exciting literature, and am enjoying the loads of free time from having one week and 2 whole weekends FREE! Now I do have a concert this week, which I planned this way on purpose; however, it seems pale in comparison to what I've been doing. After doing absolutely nothing on Saturday, I enjoyed going to Alton on Sunday with Eric and toured some wineries and checked out Fast Eddies. Up next week, I start classes again. At least I'll only have one class to juggle this time. It will be nice.
On another note, I'm sooo jealous of TSU's new residence hall. Where was this when I was going to school?
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
God's love and protection is shining down on me!
Today I had my first clinical rotation. I was a bit nervous at first because I didn't get to sleep until 1300 as I was trying to get all my research completed before we came in the next morning. I was definitely hurtin' until my caffeine kicked in just before we started to walk over to our floor. After lunch, our instructor told us to finish-up our charts and speak with our client's nurse and then we discussed our day. Most of us thought we would be there until 1900 and were very glad to know we would get to leave after our post-conference. So for having 3 hours to take a much needed nap after school, I was very grateful.
I then came home and had my mail from the last few days jammed in the mail slot of my door. I'm not sure what happens in the city, but I definitely don't get my mail every day, like I usually did in the house. Anyway I see a large envelope from the college, and I start to get nervous. I heard the scholarship results were being sent to everyone, but I hadn't heard any thing about my application yet. Turns out I was blessed with a VERY nice-sized scholarship! This is to be the biggest scholarship I've ever receieved. I feel so blessed to have been given what will end up covering my education expenses for 2 semsters of the school year! My Mom told me she thinks it's a sign that I'm going in the right direction, and I think I have to agree. All I can say, is "Wow, thanks God! You're awesome, thank you!"
On another note, my landlord's property managers were upstairs pounding away at putting a new door into my neighbor's balcony. Turns out that two people across the street be-friended her simply so they could scope out her apartment. They managed to climb to the second floor balcony and steal some of her electronic equipment. The wierd thing is-I saw the two of the three involved several times come over to 'hang-out.' They installed alarm equipment in her apartment, but I thought, hey, shouldn't the rest of us get them too? I was just very grateful once again, that God has been watching over me, and keeping me safe.
Well... I have a huge test to study for tommorow, and another clinical rotation. I better get back to studying.
I then came home and had my mail from the last few days jammed in the mail slot of my door. I'm not sure what happens in the city, but I definitely don't get my mail every day, like I usually did in the house. Anyway I see a large envelope from the college, and I start to get nervous. I heard the scholarship results were being sent to everyone, but I hadn't heard any thing about my application yet. Turns out I was blessed with a VERY nice-sized scholarship! This is to be the biggest scholarship I've ever receieved. I feel so blessed to have been given what will end up covering my education expenses for 2 semsters of the school year! My Mom told me she thinks it's a sign that I'm going in the right direction, and I think I have to agree. All I can say, is "Wow, thanks God! You're awesome, thank you!"
On another note, my landlord's property managers were upstairs pounding away at putting a new door into my neighbor's balcony. Turns out that two people across the street be-friended her simply so they could scope out her apartment. They managed to climb to the second floor balcony and steal some of her electronic equipment. The wierd thing is-I saw the two of the three involved several times come over to 'hang-out.' They installed alarm equipment in her apartment, but I thought, hey, shouldn't the rest of us get them too? I was just very grateful once again, that God has been watching over me, and keeping me safe.
Well... I have a huge test to study for tommorow, and another clinical rotation. I better get back to studying.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Why do women friends 'disappear ' when in a relationship?
We all have friends that are in relationships. They can be married, engaged, or just dating. Have you ever noticed though, that girls basically forget they even had girl friends once they are with someone? It's like we only exist in some distant memory, and when they remember we get a phone call here and there just to see how it's going. Usually at the end of the call they say something like "We should get together sometime, I haven't seen you in forever!" and then they never call to make plans or back out if you try to make plans with them. Sometimes I feel like a total idiot giving a shout out to my friends. If they haven't made an effort to call me in a week, two weeks, a month, several months, how do I know they even care that I'm still alive? How do I know that they still even value our friendship? Would they still act this way if they weren't with someone? I would venture to say no.
What it is in the female genome that says, "When I'm with a man, my women friends do not mean as much to me. I no longer need them for support and friendship, because my man will be the one and only person I need in my life?" I guess I don't get it. This happens whether a person is dating or married. Married people are sort of in a safety zone, but what if the person you are dating breaks up with you? Who will you go to? Why, your single friends of course. Or maybe even the rogue friend who even though she has been dating someone for a year still actually makes an effort to keep in contact with her friends.
I have been told by several people, that I'm the only girl they know that doesn't basically stop hanging out/ talking with their girl friends once in a relationship. Granted, I have been known to do the same thing, but at one point my s.o.'s friends also happened to interlap with mine, so I'm not sure that counts. Here's the scoop...
When I first moved back to St. Louis, I was in a relationship of 2 years (lasted for 3). I was still getting used to being back and not having all my friends from TSU around all the time. I realized I took it for granted that I could just walk to my friends' house/apartment/dorm or run into them every day just by being a college student. Regardless of one's status we hung out with all of our friends a good portion of the time, simply because they were around and many of them overlapped. Getting back to St. Louis, half a year rolled by before I realized I was missing something: My friends. A few were still in college so I had to wait for them to come back, but some were also back in St. Louis too. At that point I realized I needed to get back in to touch with my friends and make it a point to start over with them after college. I like my friends, I need friends in my life, so why wouldn't I try to reconnect?
Eventually, most people came back to St. Louis or near enough to it that we could meet every now and again, talk etc. Not everyone was married yet, and so life was good. I felt like I needed to explore being single before committing myself forever to someone else, and most of my friends were still open to being out and having fun on the weekends. But now, that most of them are married or in a relationship, it's like everyone has disappeared. They are so caught up in their lives that it seems they forgot about the people that were their support network before a man was in the picture. What has happened to us? Are we so dedicated to our men that we forget to be dedicated to ourselves? What is wrong with you thinking that your man is the only friend you need? What if you get divorced? What if you need to talk about having kids, when those come around someday? Don't wait until we are all in the baby club to realize women friends are needed in your life.
I woke up this morning feeling sad. I woke thinking, why aren't my friends calling me? Why do they only call (I shouldn't say only, because that negates the very few who do call on their own) after I have called them? Why do I feel like 98% of the time I'm the only person trying to set up a time to go out to lunch or dinner or whatever? Is it that people forget about their friends because it's not as convienant any more to be friends? You're not running into them every day at high school or college. You aren't working with them at your new job. You are not living in an area close to them, and even if you are, your still always too busy to make time for your friends.
I'm sorry, but my life is not complete without being close to the people I feel connected with. If I don't see my boyfriend for a day or so, even if it's because I'm studying, working or at school learning, I miss him. Do you miss your friends? Like any relationship, friendship invovles some amount of work now that it's not as convienant to remain friends. Why don't you feel it's important to take that one second out of your day on the way home from work just to give people a call? You already have to be in the car anyway, why not make it productive? Why not write an email asking how things are going? Why not throw a small party for the heck of it or call people to do lunch, dinner, movie or shopping? I haven't been shopping with a girl friend in years. What's wrong with this picture? (Well some of it was I worked at the mall, and hated going back there, but...)
To those of my friends who make the effort to remain friends, thank you. It means a lot, truly. To the rest of you, get on the ball! I hate to say it, but someone has to, and that person who has the 'outspoken crazy friend' job is usually left to me so... you should be used to me by now. Let's not lose our friendships because we are married, in a relationship, too busy to take time from our lives just to stop and hang out once in a while. We all have to eat, why not go out somewhere? No, I don't want to double date, I want to hang out with YOU. I met you WAY before you were your man's 'sidekick' so why would we make our men suffer through womanly conversations they don't understand or care about?
Do you ever see men give up their friendships, their social lives because they are with someone? Hell no! So why are you doing it? Do you think it's healthy to allow your life to be what your man's is? Do you think it's healthy to give up what you believe, think, and feel that might be different from what your man does? Do you think it's healthy to give up your friends? Because that is what your doing. I call, because I care, because talking about random topics brings people closer together. Calling someone, in my mind, does not have to have a specific purpose, if only it means I get to hear what my friends are feeling and thinking, even if it's about how 'so and so at work is making your life crazy.'
Moral is: Ladies, keep your friends in your lives. Make the effort to see them, call them, whatever. We are only here on earth for so long, why live our man's life? We need to be living our lives too!
What it is in the female genome that says, "When I'm with a man, my women friends do not mean as much to me. I no longer need them for support and friendship, because my man will be the one and only person I need in my life?" I guess I don't get it. This happens whether a person is dating or married. Married people are sort of in a safety zone, but what if the person you are dating breaks up with you? Who will you go to? Why, your single friends of course. Or maybe even the rogue friend who even though she has been dating someone for a year still actually makes an effort to keep in contact with her friends.
I have been told by several people, that I'm the only girl they know that doesn't basically stop hanging out/ talking with their girl friends once in a relationship. Granted, I have been known to do the same thing, but at one point my s.o.'s friends also happened to interlap with mine, so I'm not sure that counts. Here's the scoop...
When I first moved back to St. Louis, I was in a relationship of 2 years (lasted for 3). I was still getting used to being back and not having all my friends from TSU around all the time. I realized I took it for granted that I could just walk to my friends' house/apartment/dorm or run into them every day just by being a college student. Regardless of one's status we hung out with all of our friends a good portion of the time, simply because they were around and many of them overlapped. Getting back to St. Louis, half a year rolled by before I realized I was missing something: My friends. A few were still in college so I had to wait for them to come back, but some were also back in St. Louis too. At that point I realized I needed to get back in to touch with my friends and make it a point to start over with them after college. I like my friends, I need friends in my life, so why wouldn't I try to reconnect?
Eventually, most people came back to St. Louis or near enough to it that we could meet every now and again, talk etc. Not everyone was married yet, and so life was good. I felt like I needed to explore being single before committing myself forever to someone else, and most of my friends were still open to being out and having fun on the weekends. But now, that most of them are married or in a relationship, it's like everyone has disappeared. They are so caught up in their lives that it seems they forgot about the people that were their support network before a man was in the picture. What has happened to us? Are we so dedicated to our men that we forget to be dedicated to ourselves? What is wrong with you thinking that your man is the only friend you need? What if you get divorced? What if you need to talk about having kids, when those come around someday? Don't wait until we are all in the baby club to realize women friends are needed in your life.
I woke up this morning feeling sad. I woke thinking, why aren't my friends calling me? Why do they only call (I shouldn't say only, because that negates the very few who do call on their own) after I have called them? Why do I feel like 98% of the time I'm the only person trying to set up a time to go out to lunch or dinner or whatever? Is it that people forget about their friends because it's not as convienant any more to be friends? You're not running into them every day at high school or college. You aren't working with them at your new job. You are not living in an area close to them, and even if you are, your still always too busy to make time for your friends.
I'm sorry, but my life is not complete without being close to the people I feel connected with. If I don't see my boyfriend for a day or so, even if it's because I'm studying, working or at school learning, I miss him. Do you miss your friends? Like any relationship, friendship invovles some amount of work now that it's not as convienant to remain friends. Why don't you feel it's important to take that one second out of your day on the way home from work just to give people a call? You already have to be in the car anyway, why not make it productive? Why not write an email asking how things are going? Why not throw a small party for the heck of it or call people to do lunch, dinner, movie or shopping? I haven't been shopping with a girl friend in years. What's wrong with this picture? (Well some of it was I worked at the mall, and hated going back there, but...)
To those of my friends who make the effort to remain friends, thank you. It means a lot, truly. To the rest of you, get on the ball! I hate to say it, but someone has to, and that person who has the 'outspoken crazy friend' job is usually left to me so... you should be used to me by now. Let's not lose our friendships because we are married, in a relationship, too busy to take time from our lives just to stop and hang out once in a while. We all have to eat, why not go out somewhere? No, I don't want to double date, I want to hang out with YOU. I met you WAY before you were your man's 'sidekick' so why would we make our men suffer through womanly conversations they don't understand or care about?
Do you ever see men give up their friendships, their social lives because they are with someone? Hell no! So why are you doing it? Do you think it's healthy to allow your life to be what your man's is? Do you think it's healthy to give up what you believe, think, and feel that might be different from what your man does? Do you think it's healthy to give up your friends? Because that is what your doing. I call, because I care, because talking about random topics brings people closer together. Calling someone, in my mind, does not have to have a specific purpose, if only it means I get to hear what my friends are feeling and thinking, even if it's about how 'so and so at work is making your life crazy.'
Moral is: Ladies, keep your friends in your lives. Make the effort to see them, call them, whatever. We are only here on earth for so long, why live our man's life? We need to be living our lives too!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
PAID OFF!!!!
MY CAR IS PAID IN FULL! 3 CREDIT CARDS HAVE BEEN PAID IN FULL! In a month, I should have one small student loan... you guessed it, PAID IN FULL! Goodbye old debt, never come my way again!
Dear Lord, THANK YOU for helping me to have some serious burdens washed away!
Dear Lord, THANK YOU for helping me to have some serious burdens washed away!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I'm Back!
I know, you missed me right? Riigght. Anyway, I don't have much to say, I'm just got my internet back today. The house is officially no longer mine. I'm in a neat little place in central St. Louis area. I'm still working on the 'being moved in part.' Work-school is going well. Learning-School is pretty crazy with very large amounts of time-consuming homework. Good news is... I received an "A" on my first test. I have another one this weekend, which I'm gearing up for. Eric and I have officially been dating for a year, and our 'anniversary' is coming up soon. Craziness! Life has been pretty hectic, and that pretty much sums it up.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Moving Soon
I'm planning to move VERY soon. I'm selling this dresser if anyone who knows me is interested. If you can think of anything else you might want to buy of mine, let me know, and I'll tell you if it's available. More than likely I'll be looking at selling my only 3 years old refridgerator (good size one too.)
Monday, July 31, 2006
On My Way
My house is under contract!
I only have 2 days left at my summer job!
Plans to attend school are in progress!
Hopefully I will be outta here soon, and on my way!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
I only have 2 days left at my summer job!
Plans to attend school are in progress!
Hopefully I will be outta here soon, and on my way!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Getting Back to Normal
The power finally came back on on Sunday. What a relief! I was not having a good Saturday and getting electricity was a happy surprise. As of Monday, my friend, Brie, still did not have power. On Saturday I took care of some business at my parents, one of which was to find out the bank put my money in the wrong account (luckily a number that didn't exist) and I had to wait two days to get it back. I was stressed!
On Monday, I ran a bunch of errands including going to a salvage yard to get a new tail light because my car wouldn't pass inspection without it. I finally finished my scholarship application, and applied for a student loan should I need it. Eric and I cleaned the gutters and removed the big debris from the storm. Then I had to get my teeth cleaned, yeah, my second cavity ever :(
Today I went back to my summer job. I was soooo bored until my manager moved me over to Lancome for the night. I had a blast! Make-up is fun! All I can is, Mary Kay, has a long way to go if they want to catch up to their mascara among other products. I wish I would have been in cosmetics a long time ago like they mentioned when I was hired. Now there are a bunch of openings, and I'm leaving. Oh well. What can ya do?
On Monday, I ran a bunch of errands including going to a salvage yard to get a new tail light because my car wouldn't pass inspection without it. I finally finished my scholarship application, and applied for a student loan should I need it. Eric and I cleaned the gutters and removed the big debris from the storm. Then I had to get my teeth cleaned, yeah, my second cavity ever :(
Today I went back to my summer job. I was soooo bored until my manager moved me over to Lancome for the night. I had a blast! Make-up is fun! All I can is, Mary Kay, has a long way to go if they want to catch up to their mascara among other products. I wish I would have been in cosmetics a long time ago like they mentioned when I was hired. Now there are a bunch of openings, and I'm leaving. Oh well. What can ya do?
Saturday, July 22, 2006
No electricity!
I'm sitting at my parents' house writing this blog for those who still have access to the Internet. For those of you not living in St. Louis, you might not be aware that we were hit with 2 major storm systems, the likes of which haven't been recorded for over 150 years so they say.
My subdivision in North County area looked like a war zone when I returned home from work on Wednesday night. I have no electricity, and there is nothing in my fridge because it's all been removed. Other than a zillion trees limbs and twigs, I luckily did not sustain any material damages. We were hit with yet another storm affecting mostly St. Charles and the North St. Louis area again on Friday. I was in the middle of getting a much delayed and needed chiropractic treatment when they lost power.
My only link to the 'outside world' is my cell phone, coworkers, and listening to KMOX 1120 am while in the car. It is estimated that while some have restored power, there are still 400,000 homes without electricity, at an estimated 2.5 million people.
I hope I can once again enjoy the modern convienances of life soon. Currently I'm at my parents' doing laundry because I won't have anything to wear for work if I don't. They are in South County and had power restored Friday. Incidently I left work earlier today to get it done or I'd be out of 'work' clothes.
On another note, I went to the the Journey/ Def Leopard concert last night. It was an awesome sold out show and we all braved the formidable sky despite the possiblity of another storm. I've also gotten back to my 'reading roots' as I've had nothing to two without electricity. All I can say is thank God I camp and have a camping light fan combo. Wal-mart is totally out of all useful electric camping supplies. I had to have a friend buy batteries in Chesterfield because no one in my area as power. It's pretty crazy. Nothing like waiting at McD's for 40 minutes just to eat! I've never seen fast food places so busy until recently. I guess at least I can cook on the stove (gas stove), and I hear the boil order is off in my area so the water is safe now.
My subdivision in North County area looked like a war zone when I returned home from work on Wednesday night. I have no electricity, and there is nothing in my fridge because it's all been removed. Other than a zillion trees limbs and twigs, I luckily did not sustain any material damages. We were hit with yet another storm affecting mostly St. Charles and the North St. Louis area again on Friday. I was in the middle of getting a much delayed and needed chiropractic treatment when they lost power.
My only link to the 'outside world' is my cell phone, coworkers, and listening to KMOX 1120 am while in the car. It is estimated that while some have restored power, there are still 400,000 homes without electricity, at an estimated 2.5 million people.
I hope I can once again enjoy the modern convienances of life soon. Currently I'm at my parents' doing laundry because I won't have anything to wear for work if I don't. They are in South County and had power restored Friday. Incidently I left work earlier today to get it done or I'd be out of 'work' clothes.
On another note, I went to the the Journey/ Def Leopard concert last night. It was an awesome sold out show and we all braved the formidable sky despite the possiblity of another storm. I've also gotten back to my 'reading roots' as I've had nothing to two without electricity. All I can say is thank God I camp and have a camping light fan combo. Wal-mart is totally out of all useful electric camping supplies. I had to have a friend buy batteries in Chesterfield because no one in my area as power. It's pretty crazy. Nothing like waiting at McD's for 40 minutes just to eat! I've never seen fast food places so busy until recently. I guess at least I can cook on the stove (gas stove), and I hear the boil order is off in my area so the water is safe now.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Cars and the Environment
I was watching Opera a few weeks ago and they were discussing environmental concerns. Global warming is real, and we need to wake up. Alledgly, America is only 5% of the population but we are the main cause of global warming.
Things I learned:
Cars that are good for the environment based on pollution and gas guzzeling:
Honda Civic-Hybrid
Honda Insight
Toyota Prius
Ford Focus
Toyota Echo
Chevy Aveo
Worst Suv's:
Ford Expedition
Dodge Durango
Nissan Armada
Chevy Suburban
Things to do to help right now:
Recycle! (Plastic does not and will not ever decompose!)
Unplug things when you aren't using them, even if they are turned off they supposedly suck energy
If everyone replaced their current lightbulbs with the "Compact Floresant Bulb," it would be the same thing as taking 30 million cars off the road. It's a more expensive bub, but lasts a lot longer and cuts WAY down on energy costs (think lower UE bill.)
Things I learned:
Cars that are good for the environment based on pollution and gas guzzeling:
Honda Civic-Hybrid
Honda Insight
Toyota Prius
Ford Focus
Toyota Echo
Chevy Aveo
Worst Suv's:
Ford Expedition
Dodge Durango
Nissan Armada
Chevy Suburban
Things to do to help right now:
Recycle! (Plastic does not and will not ever decompose!)
Unplug things when you aren't using them, even if they are turned off they supposedly suck energy
If everyone replaced their current lightbulbs with the "Compact Floresant Bulb," it would be the same thing as taking 30 million cars off the road. It's a more expensive bub, but lasts a lot longer and cuts WAY down on energy costs (think lower UE bill.)
Friday, June 30, 2006
Camping/Float Trip
Round Spring, Eminence, MissouriThis year marked the 4th annual float trip with my friends. We decided to try the Current River, but ended up going to Jack's Fork River due to reservation constraints. It was a really fun time, and I hope to enjoy more in the future.
On the way back home, Eric and I explored the surrounding scenery by visiting the Round Spring and then did an impromtu visit of Saltpeter Cave now known as "Meramac Caverns." It was neat and eerie all at the same time. I had never really been in a cave and I'm just glad that at least my first experience was somewhat commercial so that when we hope to revisit the Round Spring cave, the non-commercial tour will be more exciting. I highly recommend a float trip. It's fun, not too expensive, and a good way to enjoy the company of friends.
***
Things I learned about the Round Spring: It is 55 ft deep (shown in picture) and pumps out about 25+ million gallons of water each year. The most recorded was something like 333 million gallons in one year.
***
Things I learned in the "Meramac Tavern:" It has a natural onyx area. Jesse James used it as part of his hide-out. The ballroom was originally used for square dancing and is the largest open area of the cave. Part of Lassie and Tom Sawyer were filmed there. A couple was given a 10 night stay prize and they 'lived' in the cave for 10 days (while the cave was still having tours) until they found a key planted by a game show (on the last day) where they won a real honeymoon. They have a stalagtite/stalagmite that grew so large it 'killed itself' and is starting to rust. It is about 25 million years old (I think.) A part of the cavern that was once underwater is known as the wine garden. The rock formations look like grape clusters. This area also has the 2nd largest table rock in the world. It is a type of rock that grew up from the bottom of the water and then formed it's own little island. It has four legs. Now it has to be supported by a beam to keep it standing (from age.) The 'Greatest Show Under the Earth" is a light display in an area where the rocks formed a kind of theater with the billion? year old rock formation (still 'alive'.) It was really hard to get pictures to show up well, so you should check it out :)
Glimpse of "Greatest Show Under the Earth" Rock FormationThursday, June 29, 2006
Living in a "Prison"
I wish I could more easily accept the things that I cannot change. I'm am ready for change, but as it currently stands I'm waiting around for the 'go signal.' For me that signal is getting out of this house. The house is a great buy for those who don't want to have to make any major changes because they've already been done with a newer: roof, a/c, windows, water heater, furnace, carpet, paint, covered deck (newly stained), woodburning stove, finished basement etc. The problem seems to be that many of the houses around me that are starting to go on sale are priced really low, but also don't have as much to offer. So I sucked it up, and lowered the price. This weekend will be another open house. I pray that God looks out for me because I'm ready to move on to the next chapter in my life.
Truth be told, I enjoyed living here. Lots of space. Freedom to do what I want. No noise from apt. neighbors. Very close to work and places I need to be. What I didn't enjoy were prices going up (taxes, insurance) and things I had to fix unexpectedly along the way. It must be a rule in my life that I will never get ahead financially.
This month I was going to 'be ahead,' but no I get a speeding ticket on the way home and that was WITH actually following the signs. The guy pulled me over apparently because I didn't instantly slam on the breaks when it went from 65 to 45 in a very small area of road. He even followed me for the equivalent of a few blocks at the correct speed and then pulled me over. How rude! So there goes another amount to have it taken care of, among other things I need to pay for this month.
So, basically, I feel like I'm living in a prison. What is to be my time to recooperate before going full swing again in another month in a half, is going to be full-time work at a very not-so-exciting job. It's not bad if you like standing around, despearately waiting for a customer just for something to do. There are only so many times you can organize and clean.
In another way I'm almost insulted that I have to work two jobs, technically I have 3. I did the same amount of schooling another friend of mine did. She makes $90k and I will make much much much less than that this next year. I'm getting a pay cut, she'll probably be getting a pay raise. I will be getting paid the equivalent of a 2nd year salary, and I should be making the six year salary. I wish I really understood what my parents referred to as: you won't make a lot of money. I translated my choice to: I'll be happy, and I'll make enough to be comfortable. Every year I've had to worry about whether I'm going to be full time, and there is only so much a person can take. It's very disheartening in many many ways to realize that America does not value my job or education required to do my job enough for me to make a decent living. Most people do not realize what we really do and what our job entails. Our positions are not as cush-cush as most thing.
It's hard not to take it personally. I feel like a failure, very much I felt I had failed my whole life yesterday. So what I graduated, and have some things to show for it. But eeking by every day from check to check, and every year worrying about job status is not a stable experience.
God please let the house sell in time. I have to start moving on this Fall. I want things to change, I just need you to let me.
Truth be told, I enjoyed living here. Lots of space. Freedom to do what I want. No noise from apt. neighbors. Very close to work and places I need to be. What I didn't enjoy were prices going up (taxes, insurance) and things I had to fix unexpectedly along the way. It must be a rule in my life that I will never get ahead financially.
This month I was going to 'be ahead,' but no I get a speeding ticket on the way home and that was WITH actually following the signs. The guy pulled me over apparently because I didn't instantly slam on the breaks when it went from 65 to 45 in a very small area of road. He even followed me for the equivalent of a few blocks at the correct speed and then pulled me over. How rude! So there goes another amount to have it taken care of, among other things I need to pay for this month.
So, basically, I feel like I'm living in a prison. What is to be my time to recooperate before going full swing again in another month in a half, is going to be full-time work at a very not-so-exciting job. It's not bad if you like standing around, despearately waiting for a customer just for something to do. There are only so many times you can organize and clean.
In another way I'm almost insulted that I have to work two jobs, technically I have 3. I did the same amount of schooling another friend of mine did. She makes $90k and I will make much much much less than that this next year. I'm getting a pay cut, she'll probably be getting a pay raise. I will be getting paid the equivalent of a 2nd year salary, and I should be making the six year salary. I wish I really understood what my parents referred to as: you won't make a lot of money. I translated my choice to: I'll be happy, and I'll make enough to be comfortable. Every year I've had to worry about whether I'm going to be full time, and there is only so much a person can take. It's very disheartening in many many ways to realize that America does not value my job or education required to do my job enough for me to make a decent living. Most people do not realize what we really do and what our job entails. Our positions are not as cush-cush as most thing.
It's hard not to take it personally. I feel like a failure, very much I felt I had failed my whole life yesterday. So what I graduated, and have some things to show for it. But eeking by every day from check to check, and every year worrying about job status is not a stable experience.
God please let the house sell in time. I have to start moving on this Fall. I want things to change, I just need you to let me.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Botantical Gardens: Chihuly Exhibit
If you haven't already, you need to go see the "Glass in the Garden" exhibit at the Botanical Gardens. It runs until October 31, 2006. Today Eric and I went to see the exhbit, and all I can say it WOW! On my one day off this week, I'm very glad I decided to do something enlightening and relaxing. I took a ton of pictures, and thanks to my picture editor software, enhanced their quality (being that my digital camera is now in the archaic ages.) It runs about $10 per person during the day ($4 admission (for St. Louis residents) and an additional $6 for the exhibit in the Climatron.) You can also see the exhibt at night for $15.
Also, don't forget this week is the last week of Julius Ceasar from "Shakespeare in the Park." I saw that on the unexpectedly dry and cool night of Sunday past. Always a good idea for culture and closeness with friends.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Two Movies You Have to See
I recently rented If Only and A Very Long Engagement. While it took me a while to 'get into' A Very Long Engagement, it was like a mystery theater / love story in one. Very cool. If Only was moving to me and I cried for at least a good 10 minutes here and there. Definitely recommend these two if you are looking for some good love stories.
Friday, June 02, 2006
I'm Ready
I'm ready to move on, ready to get out of here, ready to start over. I began looking at apartments today, hopeful that I will soon be leaving a place I called home for 3 years (longest I've lived anywhere since college). My requirements: location, dishwasher, w/d hook-ups or in-unit, pets allowed, within a certain budget. I decided that while owning a home is an adventure, it is one that I no longer wish to partake. Sure you might get tax credits or a discount on insurance, but those credits equal money I end up putting back in the house for up-keep or repairs. No more mowing the lawn, shoveling the driveway, repairing odds and ends, I'm ready to be done with that now.
I'm ready to find a place on my own to call home for a bit. I will not choose a temporary fix apartment; I want to choose something I could handle for a year or two while I get other areas of my life in order. Maybe I bought a home because my last apartment wasn't the greatest; it was cheap for the area. I wanted to do something on my own, something I thought would make me feel secure, with a fence for my dog. Well, she's gone now (ran away) and I'm moving on to a different chapter of my life.
I'm ready, let's go.
I'm ready to find a place on my own to call home for a bit. I will not choose a temporary fix apartment; I want to choose something I could handle for a year or two while I get other areas of my life in order. Maybe I bought a home because my last apartment wasn't the greatest; it was cheap for the area. I wanted to do something on my own, something I thought would make me feel secure, with a fence for my dog. Well, she's gone now (ran away) and I'm moving on to a different chapter of my life.
I'm ready, let's go.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
What is Love?
This was an email forward, but I thought it too cute not to share it with the world, especially because I am a teacher.
Subject: what love means to children
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think :
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Ou est ta mere?
Today at work a little girl came up to us at the counter and said, "I'm French, RalphLauren?" My co-worker and I just looked at each other confused. She asked if we spoke French. I told her I knew it "a little" or un petit peu. She pointed to a sign and said "le marque Polo et Ralph Lauren?" My co-worker thought she wanted to see our Ralph Lauren cologne and signaled over to the other counter. I wasn't sure and just observed thinking "Ok she said, the sign Polo Ralph Lauren." We watched her for a bit as I scrambled to remember French from 3 years in high school and one year in college. She looked lost and I was trying to find the words for "Are you lost," but I couldn't remember a thing. I asked "le toilette?" thinking she was looking for the bathroom (scrambling for words really), and she said no.
She circled in place, like someone lost, and then walked off really fast. I had a feeling she was lost and couldn't find her parents, so I followed her as I tried to recall what little French I could. If you don't use it, next to never, it's hard to remember things out of no where without just staring and looking dumb. I saw her stop in women's fragrances and she started to cry. I finally remembed how to say mom, and muttered a pathetic "ta mere?" She noded and said she was with them toward whence she just came. Then she repeated, "le marque Polo et Ralph Lauren." I put two and two together and figured she came from men's (which looks totally different from where she was and it's really easy to get lost in the store even for adults) by the Ralph Lauren section. As we went back the other way she looked like she remembered where she came from, and voila, her parents were there. They looked so relieved to see her. I was relieved to help her find them. They said "Merci" and I couldn't even remember how to say "Your Welcome." Which I know remember as "Dorien."
5 minutes later I remembered "Pas du tout" (not at all) and "Pas De Probleme" which was what I ended up saying in English. 20 minutes later I finally remembered how to say "Ou (where) est ta mere?" instead of grunting out "ta mere? (your mom?)" I spent the car ride home trying to conjure up a lot of lost French. It would have been really handy if I could have remembered to say something like "Vous direz moi en Francais et j'assiste." This is probably like child-speak but "You tell me in French and I (will) help." (I can't even remember the correct future verb tense.) I couldn't think of the words, but I understood most of what she said.
I was just glad I was there to help. I was worried for what could have happened had she not run into someone who know barely some French, especially when she was heading towad the opposite direction of her parents. Having been lost in a foreign country myself (because I went down the wrong street in Germany) I understand how frustrating/ worrisome it is to be lost when you can't even ask for directions or get them back in a way you understand. This poor girl only knew how to say the word "French" as a response to our English questions. I wish I could have remembered more to be of more help at the time; I guess that's what happens when you are caught off guard and you haven't used a language in almost 10 years.
I still can't think of how to ask "Are you lost?" I can only conjure "Je cherche" (I find/look). Only twice have my conversational French skills been challenged and both a failure. C'est la vie.
She circled in place, like someone lost, and then walked off really fast. I had a feeling she was lost and couldn't find her parents, so I followed her as I tried to recall what little French I could. If you don't use it, next to never, it's hard to remember things out of no where without just staring and looking dumb. I saw her stop in women's fragrances and she started to cry. I finally remembed how to say mom, and muttered a pathetic "ta mere?" She noded and said she was with them toward whence she just came. Then she repeated, "le marque Polo et Ralph Lauren." I put two and two together and figured she came from men's (which looks totally different from where she was and it's really easy to get lost in the store even for adults) by the Ralph Lauren section. As we went back the other way she looked like she remembered where she came from, and voila, her parents were there. They looked so relieved to see her. I was relieved to help her find them. They said "Merci" and I couldn't even remember how to say "Your Welcome." Which I know remember as "Dorien."
5 minutes later I remembered "Pas du tout" (not at all) and "Pas De Probleme" which was what I ended up saying in English. 20 minutes later I finally remembered how to say "Ou (where) est ta mere?" instead of grunting out "ta mere? (your mom?)" I spent the car ride home trying to conjure up a lot of lost French. It would have been really handy if I could have remembered to say something like "Vous direz moi en Francais et j'assiste." This is probably like child-speak but "You tell me in French and I (will) help." (I can't even remember the correct future verb tense.) I couldn't think of the words, but I understood most of what she said.
I was just glad I was there to help. I was worried for what could have happened had she not run into someone who know barely some French, especially when she was heading towad the opposite direction of her parents. Having been lost in a foreign country myself (because I went down the wrong street in Germany) I understand how frustrating/ worrisome it is to be lost when you can't even ask for directions or get them back in a way you understand. This poor girl only knew how to say the word "French" as a response to our English questions. I wish I could have remembered more to be of more help at the time; I guess that's what happens when you are caught off guard and you haven't used a language in almost 10 years.
I still can't think of how to ask "Are you lost?" I can only conjure "Je cherche" (I find/look). Only twice have my conversational French skills been challenged and both a failure. C'est la vie.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
2 days left
Today I went to my 'other school' to get some things and clean up. Originally they told us not to come becuase of the Variety Show, but I hadn't seen them last week and I wanted to say goodbye. It's hard to say goodbye to a great set of K'ers who don't want to go home because they know it's the last time we'll have class together. Some kids I'm glad to see move on to middle school or another school, but for whatever reason, this class really bonded with me, and I with them. They'll be in 1st grade next year, but I'll be teaching K again to the new kids on the block. I hope I get lucky with another great set of kids over there. This class was why I became a teacher. :)
On another note... 2 more days left of school! Tommorow is the Talent Show (made much easier thanks to my G5 mac and iTunes) and Field Day. Friday is a work day with the end-of-the-year luncheon. This year flew by fast. I hope the summer goes slow. At least I know now that I'll be .91 instead of .79 which helps alleviate a lot of financial stress.
Keep praying, I really need to sell the house.
On another note... 2 more days left of school! Tommorow is the Talent Show (made much easier thanks to my G5 mac and iTunes) and Field Day. Friday is a work day with the end-of-the-year luncheon. This year flew by fast. I hope the summer goes slow. At least I know now that I'll be .91 instead of .79 which helps alleviate a lot of financial stress.
Keep praying, I really need to sell the house.
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