Just saying hello

Well for those of you who for some strange reason like to read my random ramblings du jour, I just wanted to let you know that many of the issues I've been facing have passed or cooled down. I've felt like I was on vacation this last week because almost absolutely nothing of significance occurred. The holiday was nice, and one of my classes were canceled so I really had time to just 'take it easy' without going somewhere or doing something kinda vacation (or studying for tests).

Other than test stress, I've really been enjoying my clinical/class experiences this summer. I feel like many of the things that I've been learning are coming together, and various procedures and techniques are starting to feel easier and less awkward. Even my instructors are saying that I'm doing really well clinically, which is awesome in my book! Today my teacher jokingly said I should be the instructor after I had helped another student with a question she didn't know (only because she works at another location and things are different there.) I said thanks, but I just knew the answer because it was something I asked about last weekend from an employee... so there ya go.

I could always use prayers on passing the theory component of these 2 courses, so keep those going! I'm ALMOST done with my summer session. I'm VERY excited to be nearing the last few weeks of these courses. After that, I'm not going to school for a month! YEAH, four weekends off in a row!

God be with me, because really need to do well in these courses. 3 more weeks left!

After the month break, I should hopefully be DONE, I said D-O-N-E in 16 weeks! Please keep those prayers going, because I will need ALL the help I can get!

Yum, Cheesy Potatoes

Cheesy Potato Recipie: YUM, YUM




2 lb bag frozen potatoes (hash brown type only cubed
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 chopped onions
1 lb sour cream
1 cream of chicken soup can
2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese
1/2 cup butter

Melt the butter and mix all ingredients together. Back for 1 hour at 350 degrees. You can also half everything to make less of a party sized serving.

Breast Cancer Petition

There is a bill out there wanting to make insurance companies cover a minimum 48 hour hospital stay for those women who need it following a mastectomy. It is a very important bill! Go to this website and add your name to the petition.

I'm moving... again

Well, it looks like I'm going to moving... again. This time I'm moving to another state. It'll be a bit of drive to work, but most of it will be against traffic. If any of my St. L friends out there are available Sat., August 3rd just to help load the truck, I would truly appreciate your help. I'm going to arrange for help unloading at the new destination with other friends so no one except a few will be doing both. Wish me luck!

Current River Float Trip

Alley Spring Mill

Part of the Alley Spring

This last weekend Eric and I went to Emminence, MO and completed our annual canoe trip vacation. This year we went on the Current River from Round Spring Landing to Two Rivers Landing. One thing about floating near the springs, was that we noticed the water was VERY cold in those areas. It made for a brisk, invigorating swim. For the most part, it was a nice day until it decided to rain for about 20 minutes, but for whatever reason I found it to be the most funny thing ever. It was really a blast! Not to hot, not to cold and just enough sun. I forgot to put sunscreen on my legs so I have a nice random, patchy sunburn on my legs and little square on my feet from my sandals.

This year we wanted to do something special, try something different, and also be a little bit lazy. We stayed at Coldwater Ranch in one of the luxury cabins, complete with full kitchen, linens, a/c, fireplace, and best of all a Jacuzzi tub. It was VERY nice. The fire ring was already loaded with wood, and we had plenty more set up for us on the side. They even provided a gas or charcoal grill for use.

On Sunday, we went horseback riding and then visited two springs. Last year we visited the round spring and blue spring, so now it's a tradition. This year we visited Alley Spring and the Rocky Falls, both equally cool. We learned that 81 million gallons of water run through the Alley Spring and that Rocky Falls is a formation made from an old volcano. Normally the water would run deeper through the rock, but this particular rock is harder than the usual volcano rock.

While all places posted no vacancy signs, we found it interesting that in parts it seemed we basically had the river all to ourselves. It was very calming and relaxing. I have way more pictures, but I'm including four for your viewing pleasure. If you want to be in the outdoors, but don't like dealing with the hassle of camping, this is the way to go. It was most beneficial as it started raining again by the time we arrived home. The whole starting a fire in the rain, was a non issue. It was nice to say the least. I would go back to Coldwater any day. Maybe next time I'll invite more friends (who like their a/c) to join us in the bigger cabins in the future.

Cabin Jacuzzi

Rocky Falls

The tide is turning

Slowly but surely the tide is turning. The storm is letting up just enough for me to breathe, and I am taking in as much air as I can. I'm not in the clear just yet, but yes things are improving.

Finally!

No, I have not done my research on this person, but I have seen this video. I will probably offend someone, but I am downright tired of being told what I am going to do rather than actually having a choice about it! (Yes, I do vote.)

Who am I?

I'm looking in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself. Where have I been for the last year? I feel like I just woke up from a coma. Will I be able to repair the damage that I have caused in 'my absence?' I'm listening to people's discussions, and I seriously don't remember 90% of anything, and then it hit me a couple of weekends ago.

Who was I for 9 months? Why I am just now waking up? I'm confused!

Serenity Prayer

I only have the first part memorized, but I really could use it about now. Keep those prayers going, I'm really in some sticky places.

Here I go again

Well I guess I got to be on the top of the roller coaster yesterday, and I was also most of today until about 300 pm. Can I get off the ride now? I am about to be sick. Actually I take that back, I became sick after the news today.

Prayers, I really need some prayers. I know life is not about security, and it sure aint about serenity, but just for once I need a little bit. Not just for a day, but at least the rest of the year would be nice or something.

Seriously, it does get better right?

RECYCLE I SAY!

Did you know that since I have started recycling, I have hardly any trash that gets thrown away? Really! My trash hardly ever is full so now I have to remember to empty it for the stink factor. If I had a compost, I would have even less trash.

Apparently the main thing I use is plastic and paper, but the top winner is plastic. Did you know that in order to make plastic, manufacturers use oil? Guess what is a non-renewable resource? Oil! Did you also know that when you throw plastic (and aluminum) away it just sits in the ground doing nothing? It never bio degrades people! One aluminum can can power a TV for 4 hours... think about all the stuff you are throwing away we can reuse (think about all that TV you watch.) Too bad we can't just throw the can in a machine and poof, 'free' electricity.

START recycling today!!!!!
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Now that I'm off my soap box, here's an update. My brother has been out of the hospital. He is still 'off,' and they are expecting it to be so for at least 4-6 months until his brain heals. My personal issues are much improved, and I have discussed with previously mentioned closest person and an agreement/understanding has been reached. That said, I also got a 96% on my test today (of the class I was thinking I was going to drop due to overload.) I think I might even get a 98% because one question I got wrong was not anywhere to be found in the notes from which the test was based. Wish me luck!

Anyway, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your prayers (and yes, God has been thanked a zillion times over too). Keep 'em coming! The other class I'm in I'm told is ridiculously hard (which is why I was thinking of dropping the other). In reality, they're both REALLY tough. I have a test on Monday. I'm also told to do really well on the first two tests, because the last two are monsters. PLEASE pray for me. I can't afford (literally) to take these classes again, and I also getting tired of working and going to school. BTW, I would never wish my fate on anyone. What I'm doing right now IS HARD, excruciatingly.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Never a dull moment

My life is never without a dull moment. I feel as if I'm constantly on a roller coaster of events, and the emotions that go with it are taking pieces of me bit by bit. If anything, I need prayer for peace. I need prayers for patience. I need prayers that in whatever way God wants things to happen, God gives me the strength to move forward and be strong.

Right now I just want to quit everything. I feel like I have taken a certain person in my life for granted and now it's biting me in the you-know-where. I feel that because of what I have chosen to do will cost me someone very close to me, if it hasn't already. I mean I can't stand my life much longer this way, how could I expect others too? The path of life is not worth it to me without someone to share it with. I just want to be stable. I want to have options open. I'm tired of doors slamming in my face without another one in site. Where's the other door that's open? Did I drive by it too fast? Was my head stuck in a book when I was supposed to be looking? Was I having a really horrible day and couldn't see anything but the next test or clinical experience coming up to notice it?

Now it's as if all that momentum to do well is failing, and I just want to quit and take a break, but I can't. It's just not monetarily feasible. Tuition is paid and I wouldn't get much back. I'm a little lacking in the strength department, and I'm finding myself very vulnerable. I'm insecure and feeling VERY alone. I know God's here next to me, but I can't feel anything but loneliness.

I've learned that the older I'm getting, the harder it is to find single friends who can be supportive. There are just not that many of them anymore. I have come very far in my journey, but I finding it hard to continue to push, and the end goals seems so far away. Help.

PS Good news: My brother was released from the hospital, but he still has a long road of recovery before they can do anything more.

The other side

About a week to the day I found out my brother was admitted to the hospital for TBI secondary to TIA's. They did an MRI three weeks before and found nothing, three weeks later they found lesions/bleeding the parietal, temporal, and occipital areas of the brain. He's been in ICU for a week now and last night they moved him to a MED-SURG floor. I guess they kept him in ICU so long because he needed to be supervised, but really he just need a sitter and could have been out as soon as Sunday in my opinion. (My mom agrees and she's an APN.) Anyway, it was strange being on the other side of the experience: NS to family member of patient in the hospital, but I also felt more useful just because I understood more about what was going on.

He is getting better as the blood is reabsorbed, but it's hard to tell because they keep sedating him so he doesn't over react to his confusion (being that there is a problem interferring with his mental faculties.) I can't believe the Dr.'s even considered putting him in the psych ward because of his confusion, when the problem is primarly neurological injury (two completely different types of floors in hospitals.) At least they decided correctly and went with Med-Surg. My mom and I would have not stood for otherwise. Personally I think he needs to be at another bigger hospital more capable of handling his situation specifically. I know because that was my last rotation.

Anyway, pray that his healing progresses so that then more tests can be run to find out what area is the focal point of his seizures so they can successfully perform surgery (if possible) and alleviate the problem which put him in the hospital in the first place. (Run on sentences are fun!)

Beginnings

Well it's the beginning of what will hopefully be my second to last semester. With any luck, I'll be done in December. So many hurtles to overthrow, I hope I make it. I'll only be able to do it with God's help that's for sure.

On another note, I might be moving at the end of the summer. So yet again, I'm proving to be a woman of many changes... seems constant. I was joking with Grams that my life might be quite entertaining as part of a soap opera. It seems there aren't many days that something dramatic doesn't happen. Today was pretty quiet, other than I started one of my two courses for the summer. If I make it, only 2 more to go. Then of course there are also boards. Craziness I tell you!

How I ever made it through working full time and taking 12 credit hours and doing well, I'll never know. But it's done, I think the worst is over. I don't plan to work this summer and if I do, it will be VERY minimal. I can devote all of my energies for one goal instead of many. Keep praying. It's working ;)

Rebuild

Today, during my one of my last clinical experiences for the Spring, God sent me some important messages that it seems I've been waiting my whole life to hear or maybe I was just ready to hear them. I went to a conference today and it was full of insight and valuable knowledge for me to use and take with me. Keep praying though, I need all I can get because I'm not in the clear yet. Thanks!

Cascade

I am in a state of shock. Totally appalled, flabergasted, hurt, upset... Nothing could have prepared me for what I have experienced these last two days. I'm sorry I cannot be specfic. All I can do is to sit and idly stare at a movie so that I do not think on the experiences that I had no idea were coming, that I had no idea could possibly ever occur. Ever.

All I can do is wait. All I can do is nothing. There is absolutely nothing I can do. This cannot be fixed, forgotten, forgiven. I just don't see it. I need God's help to get me through this. God is all there is left of hope.

Someone told me when one door closes, another opens. Someone told me when we have hard times it is a way that we are tested in life. God is testing me, and the test is long and it's a test only a genius could master. I cannot change roads any faster, well, I think I'm on the wrong road. It's really bumpy. One of my tires has gone flat, and my engine is overheating. Can I make it to the next service station?

Pray.

Almost done

It's such a beautiful day outside, and here I am inside contemplating what chore or errand can I come up with to conjure a reason to go outside for a while. Since I don't own a house anymore, I don't have any gardening or mowing to do so I have an excuse, oh well. I have three more tests and this semester is over. I can't believe I've made it this far. This school year has been a challenge to say the least.

I will have four more classes left and assuming all goes well, I will be done in Decemeber. Somehow I wish it could be sooner because what is happening in my other school experience. But I'm choosing not to think on that.

Instead I will focus on the fact that I am half way done in my endeavors to move on in life, and never having to worry about having a job ever again. It will be nice when I get there. I think I might clean my car. It's been since August since the inside has been vaccummed (yes, I know it's sad.) Then I shall study until I can study no more.

More from my cousin

My cousin writes and says he is doing ok. If you are sending care packages he says that the kids like hard candy and pens. Here's a utube showing some pictures that a Marine took in '06. The link has more good pictures, but they are harder to see details.

Colon Cancer

Did you know that colon cancer is the third leading cause of death in men, and the fourth leading cause of death in women? Did you also know you can decrease your risk by following a healthy diet and making sure you are screened when called for? Here's some info about what a good diet entails:

Diet and colon cancer to prevent colon cancer

"People can change their eating habits by reducing fat intake, and increasing fiber (roughage) in their diet. Major sources of fat are meat, eggs, dairy products, salad dressings, and oils used in cooking. Fiber is the insoluble, non- digestible part of plant material present in fruits, vegetables, and whole-grain breads and cereals. It is postulated that high fiber in the diet leads to the creation of bulky stools which can rid the intestines of potential carcinogens. In addition, fiber leads to the more rapid transit of fecal material through the intestine, thus allowing less time for a potential carcinogen to react with the intestinal lining. For additional information, please read the Colon Cancer Prevention article." Other reasons I found that may make a person high risk: colon polyps, ulcerative colitis, and genetics.