Birthday Card

I woke up today with a text at 0615 with my first Birthday greeting, one minute from my actual time of birth and thought that was pretty cool. I am going through a rough patch, to say the least, and was/am expecting this day to be of pretty poor quality. Today is the first birthday I've been single in I don't know how many years I can count. It's especially tough when only a year ago (divorced August 2010) I was married and never would have expected to be in this position. Course, I never expected to get divorced either. I don't know why it bothers me so much, a day is a day, yet I am just a complete wreck inside trying to make it through all of the things that keep catching me off guard.

After my divorce, I basically felt like a complete reject. I am guessing this is pretty common for those who experience this in their lives. Luckily for me I have great co-workers and friends who helped me overcome many of the hurt feelings that come from such a situation. Oct 1st 2010, I went on a blind date with someone I was set up with at work. It was the most I had laughed in what felt like years. I thanked God I don't know how many times for his presence in my life because of the connection we made so easily. The experience washed away all my feelings of self-doubt: being early thirties, single and divorced after one year. It made me realize that truly time heals all wounds. Sounds silly I know, but when you experience divorce you'll know how much it just tears at you.

August seems to be a bad month for me, because again I found myself single. It was my choice, but my gut told me it was the right thing to do. While together, all things pointed to a long, happy relationship. We were good friends, he made me laugh and all that fabulous fun stuff. There was a special connection we shared that is just not comparable. Circumstances of life pushed us apart and despite everything, I felt like I was holding him back from his path in life. I can't explain it. It was just something that was supposed to happen. I don't know why it was to be; sometimes things just can't be explained. I am living with the loneliness of that decision every day. I have no idea why this is hitting me this last week of all weeks, and is leading me up to this day of additional hurt, it just is what it is.

Since I never mentioned this site or haven't written on it in quite sometime, I don't desire anything to come of my writing. I just need to vent. I wish I could make this feeling go away. I have great friends and family who are seeing me through this, but losing someone is losing someone. It's hard and it hurts and I'm just tired of it. I. am. tired. of. it! The last three years plus of my existence has been full of so many roller coaster rides, I wouldn't mind if the ride could just stop for a while. For lack of anything better to describe, I'm missing inner peace.

So I go about my life, and I'm supposed to just shove everything in a corner until the feeling disappears. That's all you can do. Get up, take a shower, go to work, come home. Clean the house, feed the dog/cat, work out, go out with friends, make new friends. The train keeps going, and even though I'm in the back hanging on for dear life, I know I can make it through the rough terrain. I've done it before, so it can be done again. Life moves on, and so will I. I can't wait for the day where I no longer get snagged from stupid things that catch me off guard without warning.

So.... today I get up to take the dog out and find a surprise on my back porch. Thank God for friends, truly! This co-worker friend of mine who knows everything, may have quite possibly done the most sincere gesture of all time that I may have experienced. I find some meaningful, small gifts with a card that just made me laugh and cry at the same time. You'd have to know why this is so ridiculously funny, but I'm going to post what it says anyway. Btw she has her own man, and in no way is this card what it appears. It is printed on paper decorated with pictures of the sea, which makes it even more of a gesture, since I LOVE the sea. Here goes:

Once I met you, my heart gladly put out its "no vacancy" sign.

No others need even apply.

There was simply no way anyone could compare to you.

Your spirit, your mind, your way of looking at life...

everything about you told me you were someone truly unique-

someone I could see myself spending a lifetime getting to know.

And here we are, all this time later, and I'm still amazed by you...

still grateful for each new day that I can spend loving and discovering you.

Only you could fill this life with so much happiness.

Only you could fill this heart with so much love. -Suzanne Berry

Inside she writes (I'm having a hard time not laughing now, because this is why it's the best card ever!!!)

Even though you broke up with me on Facebok, I'm ready to start over. My heart still has the "no vacancy" sign. So tonite I'm gonna lite the candles and turn on the Marvin Gaye... or Kenny G. whichever you prefer. (inside joke)

But, I do wish you the happiest of Birthdays and want you to know that things will start looking up. I promise. You are way too pretty, smart and driven for all of this. I'll be there. Enjoy your day.

Thank you, dear friend, for saving my day with this one gesture. You had to get up pretty early to deliver this and I appreciate it immensly!

Autumn Leaves

No matter how many times it happens, it still cuts to the core. I guess that's how you know it meant something, something worth having, something that hurts to lose. Why this feeling was delayed is unknown. I just know that it really, really stinks.

Does anyone read blogs anymore?

Feeling adventurous on a Sunday, I wander onto my old blog page and wonder if anyone blogs anymore? It seems that most people are on Face book these days, using the "Status Update" as a mini-blog of one's life.

Anyone out there?

Locksmith Warning

Of course, I would read this information a year too late!


BBB Warns Consumers of Nationwide Locksmith Swindle
You may have been a victim and not even know it.
For Immediate Release

Arlington, VA – July 10, 2007 – The Better Business Bureau (BBB) today is warning consumers to beware of untrustworthy locksmith companies that are ripping off consumers across the country.

Victim complaints to the BBB reveal that several locksmith companies, all using similar methods, are significantly overcharging consumers, charging consumers for unnecessary services, using intimidation tactics, and failing to give refunds or respond to consumer complaints.

“Ironically, these companies operate under names like ‘Dependable Locksmith’ but in reality they exploit the vulnerable situation of consumers who are locked out of their house or car,” said Steve Cox spokesperson for the BBB System. “We’ve found that some locksmiths have made taking advantage of consumers’ misfortune part of their business model.”

Complaints about locksmith services to the 114 BBBs serving the U.S. increased almost 75 percent from 2005 to 2006, and have continued to come in steadily during the first half of this year.

The BBB has identified Dependable Locksmith – which operates under more than a dozen different names – as a particularly disreputable locksmith. This company poses as a local locksmith in cities across the country and advertises in the yellow pages using local phone numbers and fake local addresses. A consumer might think they’re dealing with a local locksmith but their phone call is actually connected to a call center located in the Bronx borough of New York City.

Consumers are quoted a reasonable price over the phone but when the locksmith arrives – typically in an unmarked vehicle – he demands significantly more money than originally quoted, often only accepting cash.

A complaint from Cleveland, OH, where Dependable Locksmith was operating under the name “Superb Solutions,” alleges the company quoted fees of $39 and $84 for separate jobs, but the bill ended up at $471, which included add-on fees such as a $65 breaking in fee and a $58 fee to uninstall old locks.

Another complainant reported that the locksmith sent to let her into her car demanded she pay twice the price quoted over the phone. The locksmith offered to drive her to an ATM to get cash – feeling unsafe the victim refused. The victim was ultimately forced to write a check made out personally to the locksmith as he would not let her into her car until she did so. She cancelled payment on the check the next morning, but eventually filed a police report after the locksmith harassed her with continuous phone calls about payment.

The BBB has also heard many complaints from victims who say they were charged for unnecessary services. For example, complainants suspect locksmiths sent over by Dependable Locksmiths of pretending they couldn’t simply pick the lock so that they could charge more and install all new locks in homes.

Some of Dependable Locksmith’s aliases include, Superb Solutions, Locksmith 24 Hour, Inc., USA Total Security, Priceline Locksmith, and S.O.S. Locksmith.

Two other locksmith contractors fleecing consumers are Basad, Inc. – which operates under more than 50 names nationwide, such as A-1 Locksmith Service, A-1 24 Hour Locksmith, A-1 Lock & Key Locksmith, and AAA Locksmith 24 Hour – and Liberty Locksmith. Similar to Dependable Locksmith, they pose as local locksmiths and run full-page yellow pages ads with multiple phone and address listings. The phone numbers appear to be local, but connect to national call centers such as Liberty’s in New York City, while the addresses end up belonging to other established businesses in the local area, or are simply non-existent.

Liberty Locksmith had been a BBB member in Tulsa, OK, but during normal BBB member validation processes, it was discovered that the addresses provided by the company were false. In June 2007, the BBB terminated the membership of Liberty Locksmith for providing false information in its membership application and providing misleading advertisements to the public.

Like others, Liberty Locksmith and Basad, Inc. use common cons such as quoting one price over the phone, but then charging significantly more on site.

“These companies are very good at posing as trustworthy locksmiths,” said Mr. Cox. “Before you find yourself in the unfortunate position of being locked out of your car or house, do your research and find a truly dependable locksmith in your area. Ask around and always check with the BBB first to find reputable businesses.”

If you feel you’ve been taken advantage of by Dependable Locksmith, Liberty Locksmith, Basad. Inc., or others, please contact the BBB to file a complaint, or do so online at www.bbb.org.
# # #

Just my opinion!

InBev can go to Eta Epsilon Lambda Lambda!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's pretty much how I feel about this whole situation that my family could be facing, among several other people I know.

Friend of Convenience

No, I'm not talking about those kinds of friends. I just want to visit the idea of a friend who is your friend because it is convenient to be such. For instance, are your co-workers that you are close with really friends or just friends because you work with them? What about people you attend classes with and then once school is done you drift apart? Is this because it was convenient to be friends or just that life pulls us in so many directions it's just harder to keep up once older? I have friends that I met through work, that are still my friends although we no longer work together. I also have many college and high school friends that are still friends although we no longer attend those schools. I guess it's just harder when we 'grow up' because you have to make it a point to stay in touch. Our lives change and priorities steer more toward family and career. These are just my random, no nothing, thoughts in the transitional, crazy month that May has always been for me. I'm always up for change for the better, but I'm telling you what even when things are mostly smooth, it's still a challenge in other ways.

My new guacamole recipie

2 ripe avocados
1 can Rotel (hot, med, or mild)
Freshly chopped cilantro
Garlic Powder
Onion Powder
Salt
Dash of Paprika

Mash two ripe avocados with fork (ripe avocados are somewhat squishy, not hard.) Add one full can of Rotel diced tomatoes. Add finely chopped fresh cilantro to taste. Add seasoning to taste. Enjoy.


VERY YUMMY! This is much better than any mix you can buy. The cilantro really makes a difference, so don't skip it.

Goes well with chips and a nice lime drink :)

Guide to Florida travel

Last week Eric and I visited Tampa, FL and Fort Meyers, FL. In case you plan to travel here is some info which will be really helpful! In Tampa, we stayed at the Comfort Inn close to Busch Gardens. While it was a nice hotel, the surrounding area leaves something to be desired, but at least it's close to Busch Gardens. The pictures online are exactly what it looks like inside. The breakfast is pretty decent too. We stayed there half price through my Access membership discount. While we used another discount for the rental car, we found out through some friends you should bid on a rental on Priceline. Don't even bother with other types of discounts. It is the best way to get a good rate. Eric and I paid WAY too much even with a discount for our car for one day. Our friends paid $15 a day for the week!!

In Fort Meyers, we stayed with our friend for two days about 5 minutes from the island. We then decided to try staying on the beach. The best value was the Pierview Hotel on Estero Blvd. We got a room steps away from the beach (not a beach view), for only $75 a night. Don't bother going through some discount website. Make the reservation yourself. They have 2 types of rooms 2 beds for $208 or 1 bed for $75. The rooms are small, but we planned to be on the beach the whole time or out on the town. There is a bar nearby that plays music, but we couldn't hear any outside noise during our stay. The pool is right next to the beach too. It was nice to be right next to the beach (literally) during our stay.

If you want to party, Lani Kai is a good place to visit during the day or night. I wouldn't stay there because you are basically paying for a "Spring Break" room which to me is way over priced. Most of the 'kids' were staying there. But why pay $200 a night when you could just walk a block from the Pierview?

Anyway, our vacation was nice. With a little research you can get pretty good deals on travel. Ask around to find where to look. It took us a while but we also got our plane tickets through CheapoAir.com. We were able to sit together, and get a decent rate with Northwest (Delta) airlines.

Busch Gardens and Seaworld are nice to visit as well. If you like rides I would recommend the Gardens. They are WAY better than 6 Flags St. Louis rides. My favorite roller coaster was the SheiKra. VERY COOL!

In Seaworld we liked the Dolphin Show and the Shamu show. Personally I thought the dophin show was the most impressive!

I'm finished!!! :)

I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am finally free :-)

Once

For those of you who were watching the Academy Awards tonight, now you have even more of a reason to see what I thought was one of the best shows I've seen this year. Being a "master of music" I have to tell you, I LOVED everything about this film. "Falling Slowly" just won the Ocsar for Achievement in Music: Original Song, that came from this show. Simply moving. I cannot say enough how much I thought this movie was just 'perfect!'

Btw, in case you didn't know, the award-winning music was written by the actors/musicians in the movie. Just awesome!

Iron Barley

If you have never been to Iron Barley before you should make it a point to check it out. It is a local restaurant/bar off the Bates exit on 55. The food is very original and usually features some type of Barley in it's preparation. Yesterday I went and had the Cherokee Chicken. It was a special not on the menu and was quite the yummy experience. Usually they also feature watermelon or blueberry martinis that are to die for, but they were offering Hurricanes for the holiday. They also have quite the list of wine and beer selections. If you are a cider fan, try their Belgian brand, it was very very good.

So that's it folks!

It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but I am finally DONE with school. I won't be expanding on the degree just yet, and I'm currently done for at least a while. I attended the pinning ceremony today, and I thought it was crass to give us the 'old' left over pins rather than using the new pins with the new seal of the college. It's like the classes that are graduating around this time are getting the left overs. We had left over supplies to practice with, and an old building with old labs and equipment.

The pinning was held at the new school, and I just thought it totally unfair to have been given the left overs through out my experience. Many of my classmates felt that our last class was almost worthless. We had a lot of busy work to do, and it feels like we are 'dumber' for have taken it. What about preparing us for boards? Doesn't that count for something? Forcing me to do 700 practice questions maybe be helpful, but it would be good to have an actual lecture that would pump us up and make us feel confident and prepared for what is coming up in about 6 weeks.

It's just all very sad. I should feel happy and excited like I accomplished something. They don't even give us a graduation or allow our parents to come to the pinnin. At the ceremony they said, we were the first to have our pinning ceremony at the negw school, but we are the last class that will have to wait until May to "walk" at graduation. On top of that, we'll have to PAY to go to our own graduation (and get a whole 2 tickets) it's just ridiculous. I'm not sure that I'll go, it's not like I don't already have two other degrees.

I'm just disappointed. I have a huge hurtle to jump through before I'm completely done, and I'm not sure I feel anymore prepared now than I did having not taken this last class at all :(

Another Trader Joe Favorite

Want a new, healthy recipe from Trader Joe's?

Buy one package:

Trader Joe's Harvest Grains Blend
Trader Joe's Crumbled Feta with Mediterranean Herbs
Trader Joe's Firm Tofu
Trader Joe's Organic Vegetable Broth (or Chicken Broth)
2 pieces of 1 clove of garlic

Directions:
Cook half a package of the Harvest Grains as directed on package using butter and broth.
Meanwhile cut the tofu in squares to amount desired, and marinate in the broth.
Fry tofu in pan using left over broth marinade and 2 pieces of clove of freshly ground garlic. (I also added a dash of oregano and majorum for the heck of it.)
Once grains are done, add tofu, and then add half a package of the feta cheese (you may want to chop up the big crumbles before putting them in.)
Stir together and enjoy!!!! Serves 2-3 if used as main entree.

Other ideas: use as a side dish (serves 4-5)

This stuff is a addictive, so have an empty stomach before you eat! YUMMY!!!!!

Forget Manic Mondays

I've decided that Mondays really shouldn't be called "Manic Monday." It's really more like: "Ambiguous, tired and what the H*&^ happened to my sleep last night Monday." Seriously, I really do hate Mondays. I wouldn't mind just skipping on over to Friday already or even December 20th for that matter. What in the world were the Pilgrims thinking with this mega work ethic thing. The Europeans have it grand with all their super-long lunch hours and what not! UGH! It's more like "It's just another crabby Monday."

My third decade

Whether I wanted it or not, I reached my third decade of life this last week. Personally I don't feel any different, but I can tell you I did not expect to be where I am in life as I am now. I don't know if it's the 30 blues or the fact that none of my friends were able or interested in doing anything this last weekend. It makes me feel sad. I know that I have not been as available, and the idea of having 'free' time is weird to me. I do know that I have made an effort to keep in touch where possible, but why is it that an effort is not so much made in return? I might be just about ready to finish my third degree, but that doesn't mean I've disappeared!

Is this because I'm one of the few single people left? Is it because their husbands are more important than celebrating with the girls? I understand family obligations or work snafus, but whatever the excuse, it's just an excuse.

At least I enjoyed a few nice nights out with Eric. We tried to enjoy Six Flags the weekend before, but I guess everyone thought the same thing we did, and we rode 5-6 rides in about 7 hours (it was sad!!!) My family took me out as well, and I anxiously await my present coming in the mail (YEAH!).

I just miss the close friendship bonds I guess. No one wants to talk anymore like we used to, they're too busy to keep up friendships with the girls. I don't get it. "Back in the day" you didn't go an hour without talking to your friends. I guess being older is different? I don't understand why it has to be this way. I guess people are just really busy, because I know in some cases that is true. But there are others who are notorious for not calling back and saying they will go somewhere and then don't. Well I'll repay that then and we'll call it even?

Anyway, I said where I am now wasn't what I hoped for. I didn't expect to constantly be concerned about my job being cut. It seems so common now, it's like old news, and it seems the only way to survive is to just give up and give in. I'm not sure why this is though, and it's frustrating to no end. I feel frustrated and confused. I feel stuck. I want to go forward and while I'm doing so in my third degree, it just seems like everything else is frozen; maybe I just need to hit the restart button and pretend it never happened.

You want to know what thirty feels like, at least for me? One word: BLAH!

Wow!

I'm too busy to write anything in particular, but this little girl is amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKKQCyfjo4E

Here's the finale:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYVXN7gk5W0

Pavarotti joins the angels in heaven today

Pavarotti died today from complications related to pancreatic cancer. It is said that his last words were:

"I believe that a life lived for music is an existence spent wonderfully."

Take a moment and just listen.

Midnight and Moonlight

School has begun (both of them), and things are going well. It's so wierd actually having weekends free again. Granted, they are every other weekend, but seriously, I didn't have more than a weekend here or there for about 8 months. Every other weekend just feels like I'm on vacation. It's NICE! Almost there!

Anyway, I've realized some pretty sad info that's not new. There are MANY poor abandoned kitties in the city of St. Louis. Two have decided to figure out my schedule and know when I will be home to feed them. One of them is maybe 6 months, the other older. I've named them Moonlight (for the black and white kitty) and Midnight (for the black kitty) yesterday. Midnight is scared of me, but Moonlight comes right to my door and waits for me. Cosetta was not amused last night when Moonlight tried to get in the house (which would not be good.)

If I take them to the Humane Society, they will most likely be euthanized, so what can I do but feed them. I used to be in the Cat Network, but they are always booked and I've already tried that route one other time.

Anyway, I'm not writing about anything of consequence. Just really writing to write. Later.

I'm a Mac Girl now!

I'm SO excited. Yesterday I purchased the last MacBook Pro (of the one I wanted) supposedly in the St. Louis area. I saved a ton buying on tax-free weekend and using my education discount (and let's not forget all the rebates I'll get in the mail too). Today I just figured out how to go wireless, very exciting. I'm well-versed in using a Mac for my job, but I've never had one of my very own. It will be interesting learning all the technical stuff, because I'm used that being done for me, but I welcome the challenge. Next up is figuring out how to make my printer and maybe even my stereo wireless with my airport :)

Talk about how much I still have to learn, when I first started this baby up, I hunted down all the driver disks for my PC stuff that I still use. Turns out, I don't even need them! That's how much better a mac is! Let's also talk about how my sales rep told me not to bother with the virus software, why? because MACS ARE BETTER!

I'm SO happy to be joining the Mac world. First I had o-t-j software training, next came the video IPOD I won, now FINALLY I have my very own :)

Almost done

Well it is unfortunate that summer (for me) is coming to a close. Summer is a cherished time where I have the freedom to choose what I want to do with no actual obligation to do anything specific. While I'd love to say I usually do nothing specific, I think I've only had 1 summer since college that I literally did nothing, no work, no classes, well maybe I worked on the house but that's about it. This summer marks the close of about a month's worth of extra work for some $$, and the completion of 'the big 2' as I call them. What's the big 2? Well those are the classes that usually kill a students' progress where I attend. But I made it, and with flying colors.

I cannot believe how fast the summer has flown. I really hope that this Fall does the same. I have one semester left, and then boards. It seems like eons ago when I was pulling my hair out and nothing was going right in any facet of my life. Now here I am, the beginning of a new year and hopefully the end of a 1 1/2 year journey to complete another degree. It's interesting how the actual new year does not seem to mean as much or bring about as much emotion, as does the beginning of a new school year. Maybe it's because I've been in school all my life, literally.

Here's to all the crazy people like me who work and go to school to improve their situation in life. Cheers!