My third decade

Whether I wanted it or not, I reached my third decade of life this last week. Personally I don't feel any different, but I can tell you I did not expect to be where I am in life as I am now. I don't know if it's the 30 blues or the fact that none of my friends were able or interested in doing anything this last weekend. It makes me feel sad. I know that I have not been as available, and the idea of having 'free' time is weird to me. I do know that I have made an effort to keep in touch where possible, but why is it that an effort is not so much made in return? I might be just about ready to finish my third degree, but that doesn't mean I've disappeared!

Is this because I'm one of the few single people left? Is it because their husbands are more important than celebrating with the girls? I understand family obligations or work snafus, but whatever the excuse, it's just an excuse.

At least I enjoyed a few nice nights out with Eric. We tried to enjoy Six Flags the weekend before, but I guess everyone thought the same thing we did, and we rode 5-6 rides in about 7 hours (it was sad!!!) My family took me out as well, and I anxiously await my present coming in the mail (YEAH!).

I just miss the close friendship bonds I guess. No one wants to talk anymore like we used to, they're too busy to keep up friendships with the girls. I don't get it. "Back in the day" you didn't go an hour without talking to your friends. I guess being older is different? I don't understand why it has to be this way. I guess people are just really busy, because I know in some cases that is true. But there are others who are notorious for not calling back and saying they will go somewhere and then don't. Well I'll repay that then and we'll call it even?

Anyway, I said where I am now wasn't what I hoped for. I didn't expect to constantly be concerned about my job being cut. It seems so common now, it's like old news, and it seems the only way to survive is to just give up and give in. I'm not sure why this is though, and it's frustrating to no end. I feel frustrated and confused. I feel stuck. I want to go forward and while I'm doing so in my third degree, it just seems like everything else is frozen; maybe I just need to hit the restart button and pretend it never happened.

You want to know what thirty feels like, at least for me? One word: BLAH!